A Fish Out of Water

Cherry blossoms

I couldn't let spring arrive without a few cherry blossom pictures, and here they are. Really just a few this year, at least of the flowers still on the trees.

Thanks to plenty of wind and rain, and a great big storm, the blossoms didn't spend much time on the trees, and now wherever you go you get to walk on carpets of pale pink petals.

The sight of the petals falling to the ground, like a gentle snowfall, is one of the most beautiful things in the world. Shuma thinks so too, and when he sees a petal falling he points to it and says "bubble". Close enough.

Another sight, less well-celebrated than falling petals, can only be seen when riding the bus during a rainfall at the end of the cherry blossom season. The rain knocks the petals from the trees and then sticks them to the windows of the bus, treating passengers to a close-up botany lesson. Or at least giving them something to look at other than adds for local dentists and pachinko parlours.

Gaijin

I thought I had more time to figure this all out. My son is barely one year and five months old, and at this age he and his peers are a long way from noticing that some people look different. Surely I have a year or two to decide what labels I'll use, and allow others to use, and how to react when people use the wrong ones.

It's not that I haven't given it any thought- I've given it plenty. But I hadn't really come to a conclusion yet, and it turns out that I've been focusing on the wrong problem: whether or not to use the term "hafu". It is a troublesome term, no doubt, but it's not the term that ignorant Japanese people use when they find the need to point at my child and call him names. Shuma, with his dirty blond hair, pale skin and caucasian features, doesn't really look like a "hafu", so he gets called "gaijin".

Friday wasn't the first time, but the other times involved adults who didn't really mean it in a bad way. They were calling to their wife to come look at the cute foreign kid, or explaining to their child that Shuma didn't answer them because foreigners can't speak Japanese. Um, no- he didn't answer because he was a BABY, moron mom, and babies can't talk, but never mind, and never mind that my son is not an exhibit in a zoo to be gawked at, moron husband. And neither of you need to mind that Shuma is not in fact a foreigner, because I don't have time to waste on idiots like you. You're all grown up and a lecture from me won't change the fact that you're a twat.

But when another kid calls my son "gaijin" it's another story, a story that ended with me in tears. I probably need to develop a thinner skin (how is it that I get more sensitive the longer I live in Japan? And isn't motherhood supposed to make me stronger?), but in the meantime I have some thinking to do. Here is what happened, if you have a few moments please read on and let me know what you think.

Friday was our first time out of the house since Monday (I had the flu), and as luck would have it the weather was gorgeous: warm, sunny, and full of the promise of spring. A perfect day to play at the park, and this was actually our second attempt, as earlier in the day he'd fallen asleep on the way. So by the time we finally got to the playground it was late afternoon and the usual parents and toddlers weren't there. Instead there was a group I'd never seen before: about a dozen kids, mostly elementary school age, and seven or eight moms, who were apparently all together. A group of the kids was sitting on and around the slide while two moms watched, which instantly pissed me off because the slide is Shuma's favourite piece of equipment and they were hogging it without even using it. I hate playground equipment hoggers!

The moms also failed to greet me, which would have been easily rectified with a cheerful "Konnichiwa!" from me, but seeing as they were slide hoggers I didn't bother. A mistake. The pre-emptive greeting is a powerful thing in Japan, and might have helped later on. Anyway, Shuma and I kicked a ball around for a while, but he really liked watching the other kids (like a lot of toddlers he is fascinated by older children) and eventually he lost interest in the ball and walked over to the slide to gawk at them.

That's when one of the boys, maybe seven years old, pointed at us and said "Gaijin da!" (A foreigner!) and when the other kids failed to show interest (credit to them) he tapped his buddy and repeated "Ne ne, gaijin iru yo!" (Hey, there's a foreigner!). I didn't react right away because I was kind of trying to figure out if he meant me or Shuma, or how he meant it. Because you know how sometimes kids just point out mundane stuff without meaning anything, like they'll see a dog and go "look, it's a dog!", then point to the sky and say "look, an airplane!"? I've been called "gaijin" by kids that way plenty of times, and it's not a big deal. That's just how kids are. But the way he said it, and the look on his face, made it obvious he wasn't just pointing out a curiosity. He meant it in a bad way.

I also hesitated because I was waiting to see what the moms nearby would do. I wasn't sure if either of them was his mom, but I still kind of expected them to say something. But no, nothing, so after the second comment I picked up Shuma, walked over to the slide with a big friendly smile and started to say "This boy's not a foreigner, he's Japanese!". Which is a woefully inadequate response because it fails to do deal with a few important things, but with my limited Japanese I figured was the best I could do. I hoped it would at least get him talking to us and maybe he'd say "But he looks like a gaijin" and I could tell the kid that Shuma was born in Japan, lives in Japan, has a Japanese Dad, a Japanese name, speaks Japanese (well, one word), and therefore he's Japanese. And maybe the kid would say, "Huh, I guess he IS Japanese" and accept it in the way that kids are able to quickly process mind-blowing new information. Or maybe he wouldn't get it at all, but at least he would have seen that we are human beings with real feelings and stuff, and the other kids would see how nice we are and what an asshole the other kid is, and the moms would feel guilty for not saying anything and also be impressed with my quiet dignity and stellar Japanese skills and next time I saw them at the park they'd greet me and make their kids get off the slide and play with Shuma.

But that's not what happened, because as soon as I opened my mouth one of the other kids poured a bucket of water down the slide, soaking the kids in its path and making a big mess, and they all started laughing and shouting and the moms started scolding and nobody heard me. The moms' scolding technique was the typical useless Japanese way that involves gently saying "Dame" (No) and "Yamete" (Stop it) a lot, so of course all of the kids ignored them, which made them fuss more, which made one of the boys yell "Baka!" (literally "idiot" but kind of an all-purpose slur that children definitely shouldn't yell at adults) back at the moms. What a kerfuffle.

So Shuma and I went off to play in the sandpit, as I'd missed the chance to say something and the slide was now completely unusable. I did notice the remaining moms going over to the slide to respond to the commotion, and got to see that the boy who'd called us "gaijin" had a vile woman for a mother, which somehow didn't console me. He also called her "baka" and told her to shut up when she yelled at him (no ineffective Japanese style fussing for her), so she dragged him off the slide and slapped his head several times while continuing the yelling. It's not actually all that rare to see parents hit their kids like that here, but it's certainly not the norm and I couldn't help thinking that if they were perfectly comfortable going through this routine in public, it must be at least as bad inside their home.

So the commotion calmed down and Shuma and continued playing, until out of nowhere we heard "gaijin" shouted again. I hadn't been paying attention so missed the context, but there the boy was pointing at us again. Again the adults ignored him, including his mother who was nearby this time. And that did it. Not believing that my son and I couldn't be left in peace in our park, and frustrated that I didn't have the language skills or opportunity to say anything, I wiped away the tears that were starting and carried Shuma to his tricycle. Which unfortunately was parked in such a way that I had to pass the group of awful moms and kids. The little brat was still staring at us so I said "Mou, 'gaijin da' wo yamete yo!" (Stop calling us 'gaijin'!), which is probably completely incorrect (both in grammar and politeness level) but I just had to say something. So of course all of the moms turn around and stare, and now I'm the crazy gaijin who runs around crying and yelling at kids.

So that's what happened. It's not so awful in retrospect, and I know there are kids and their parents who have experienced much, much worse. But I do think that my son has the right to play at our local park without being harassed, and am utterly frustrated by the fact that I am unable to defend him. So all I can do is raise him right, and one day he will proud of who he is and able to deal with mean people all by himself.

Now, what do I find so objectionable about the word "gaijin"? Well, the word itself doesn't bother me terribly, especially when directed at me. I don't like it much and would prefer to be called the proper "gaikokujin", or better yet, to not be singled out for my foreignness at all, but I've never really gotten worked up about it. It's nothing compared to the racial slurs that are heard in my country, and usually doesn't have any malice behind it (in my decade and a half in Japan I've only once been called gaijin- to my face, anyway- in a bad way). Actually many Japanese people don't really understand the difference between "gaijin" and "gaikokujin", and the subject deserves a post of its own. I don't have the time and space to discuss it, but Wikipedia has a basic explanation if you're curious.

But beyond the meaning of the word itself, my main objections are that it is simply an inaccurate description of my son, and it's just mean to taunt people who are different. Shuma is Japanese, and just because he has one non-Japanese parent doesn't make him a gaijin. And yes, he does look different, but it's not nice to point it out. How would the boy feel if I pointed at him and said "Look, an ugly boy!". Or called his mom a bitch or laughed at his dad for being bald? Not very nice, but kids don't know that unless they've been taught. Empathy and manners don't come naturally, and while I don't expect children to know why "gaijin" is a bad word, I do expect parents to teach them why it's not nice to call names.

New Year round up

Yes, it's the middle of February, so it seems a little late to be blogging about our new year's holidays, but they tend to drag it out here (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it). So I already shared our nengajo (new year postcard) but I thought I'd show a few of the outtakes. He's holding the ball in some pictures partly as a distraction and partly to represent that flaming ball or pearl that Chinese and Japanese dragons are often depicted holding (don't ask me what it actually means).

This year we were only in Osaka for a few days and we stayed at a hotel. My mother-in-law broke her wrist in December and was unable to cook, clean or drive so we just visited during the day and helped out in the kitchen as well as we could. My sister-in-law took charge and did most of the work, but I was able to learn how to cook some of the osechi ryouri (the traditional new year's dishes) that my mother-in-law usually makes. No pictures as we were rather busy, but there are years of osechi pics in the archives (here is last year, for example). Here is a picture of the whole family taken at our hotel after a dinner out.

We had lunch at Haneda airport on our way back, at one of the small restaurants in Terminal 2's 3rd floor that share common seating overlooking the departures lobby. We've always avoided this little alley despite some interesting looking restaurants because it's kind of like a food court and the seating looks crowded and uncomfortable, but we noticed some nice big chairs in front of a Sri Lankan place called Court Lounge. The food was good and not outrageously overpriced, and upon sitting down we noticed that every chair is different and we'd definitely snagged the best ones- Shuma loved swiveling around his his big armchair. I think we'll eat here every time we fly from now on.

Back home I decided to try cooking some more osechi. I've never, ever had to do it because my MIL always does everything, so I didn't want to get too ambitious. I decided to just try a few simple favourites, so I did yakitai (roasted sea bream), kani sarada (crab salad) and ozoni (soup with mochi), along with some quick cabbage pickles (not really osechi, I just wanted something pickled). My in-laws always order a great big sea bream that comes already cooked, wild-caught in the Seto Inner Sea, known for its delicious bream. I've always been under the impression that it must be really hard to cook, but mine (a little farmed one from nowhere famous) turned out beautifully and was surprisingly easy. I want to make this again, not just for new year's.

The crab salad was nothing special, my MIL's is much better and is presented really beautifully.

But the ozoni was good, it's very hard to screw up. It's almost the same as MIL's: a clear dashi broth with chicken thigh, hakusai (Chinese cabbage), mitsuba (trefoil) and square-cut mochi (rice cake), but instead of namafu (raw wheat gluten) I used shiitake. That's it above, with some of the sea bream.

Just like in Osaka, the day after eating yakitai we had taichazuke, which involves making a broth with the leftover fish head and bones and serving it over rice with any leftover meat. This is probably my favourite new year's food of all.

On January 7th we ate nanakusagayu (rice porridge with the seven herbs of spring) without taking a picture, but the herbs and the final dish look exactly like this every single year so I didn't bother with a picture. A few days after that is Kagami Biraki, which is when you break the kagami mochi (rice cakes displayed during the new year's holidays). That's our kagami mochi above, and you can tell how busy/lazy I've been because look at this year's compared to the one we had a few years ago. I mean, no little altar, an ugly fake citrus on top- I'm not even trying.

The mochi was stuffed into abura-age (pockets of fried tofu) and added to oden (a stew of vegetables and various fish and tofu products), which is not at all traditional but as you can probably tell by now I'm not too big on perfectly following tradition these days.

It was yummy though, even if this picture makes it look gross.

The final chapter in a Japanese new year is (I think) Setsubun, which falls on February 3rd. This is a time to drive bad luck out of the house (in the form of oni, best described as an ogre or troll) and bring in good luck. This is done by throwing around dried soybeans, which is really fun to do but rather annoying after because the floor is littered with beans. I really want to sweep them up as soon as they are thrown but seems wrong somehow, so I always mean to leave them overnight and clean them the next day, but by then they are already crushed or kicked away into crevices and I forget. And then for weeks or even months after I find the stupid little beans in random places. Like finding a forgotten chocolate easter egg in June, except not because it's a tasteless bean.

This year I got smart and decided to throw something different. A lot of people through whole peanuts instead, because they're easier to clean up, but I'm not a fan of raw peanuts (and like I have time to sit around shelling them). So I went with little bags of mixed nuts, and it may look like total cheating because there are no soy nuts but it was in the Setsubun section next to all the proper beans and accessories.

Besides being easy to clean up, these packages contain corn nuts and now you too know how to say corn nut in Japanese. What an awesome name, and if you think it makes no sense think about the name "corn nut". It's not a nut, people!

Some families get festive and dress up the dad or other volunteers as the oni. Oni are always red and blue and have horns (or a horn) and usually look rather grumpy. These ones were made at my playgroup so are on the friendly side.

Shuma would only tolerate wearing it for a second or two, so Hideaki and I had to be the oni.

But Shuma happily participated in the throwing part. All other customs, like eating your age in roasted soybeans (yuck!) and eating ehomaki (a fat sushi roll that is supposed to bring luck but is just a made-up thing to get you to but sushi were discarded. I will consider eating my age in giant corn though.

How my life has changed

I shouldn't have expected much, considering what an awful news site Japan Today is, but I was amazed at how bad an article called "How foreigners’ daily lives change when they live in Japan" was (yes, that's actually the title). Perhaps not totally Japan Today's fault (well, except for that title), as it's a translation of a Japanese article which is itself just a bunch of translated posts from an English-language Japan Reference thread (phew!). They seem to have gone to some trouble to find the least interesting posts and strip them of any humour or insight, and the result is surprisingly boring.

It made me think about how my life has changed, and at first I couldn't think of any ways that weren't age or marriage related (I've done a lot of growing up since I coming to Japan at the tender age of 22 and getting married at 25, naturally). I learned to love olives a few years back, for example, which probably would have happened had I remained in Canada (and might have happened much earlier had I chosen to make my home in, say, Spain). I've also learned how to actually dress for the cold, which definitely wasn't influenced by my adopted home, as Japanese women wait for winter to wear their mini skirts and short-shorts. It's very odd, jeans and long skirts are saved for the sweltering summer months.

But I digress. I finally was able to think of some ways in which my life has changed since coming to Japan, and here are a few of them:

• I've become much shyer. I've always been shy but was starting to come out of my shell when I first got here, and my imaginary alter ego that never left Canada is a wildly extroverted socialite by now. But the real me, after years of living in a country where I am always the bumbling foreigner, has retreated so far into my shell that I'm stuck. It's partly laziness, because in Japan shyness is actually a virtue for women so there is little motivation to change, and it certainly wasn't helped when I lost the hearing in my left ear (try making new friends at a party when you can't hear what anyone is saying). But mostly I'm blaming this on Japan.
• I've learned to sleep in public. Like at the park, in the "rest rooms" (which really are for resting) at hot springs and bath houses, and on public transportation. It's often hard for me to stay awake during a long train ride, and I've been known to nod off while standing during rush hour.
• My manners are atrocious. I sniffle instead of blowing my nose, shuffle my sandles and slippers instead of picking up my feet properly when I walk, and I apply Japanese table manners to non-Japanese meals (like slurping noodles, drinking soup right from the bowl, and spearing large chunks of food on my fork and then returning them to the plate). I know that my glass is supposed to go at the top right side of my place setting, but in practice it goes where ever it fits. My chair stays pushed out far from the table and I hunch over my food to eat it. I have no use for paper napkins (let alone cloth)- why bother when there is a box of tissues on every surface of the house, including the kitchen table?
  
• I'm missing out on a lot of culture. I used to go to the movies weekly, more when I could afford it. I'd see Hollywood movies, documentaries, foreign films, anything. Here in Japan, movies cost a fortune to see at the theatre, and rental shops usually ignore non-blockbuster type films. Not to mention the long delay- movies are released months later in Japan, and then by the time a movie is available on DVD more than a year may have passed since I first heard of it, and I've already forgotten about it. Plus there's the subtitle problem- Japanese subtitles for a French film don't help me mutch. So I miss out on a lot of movies. And at my age I wouldnt expect to still be going to concerts and clubs like I used to, but I always assumed I'd just trade those for the symphony and the theatre and other grown-up stuff. Well, I've only checked out symphony prices here once and I don't remember the specifics, only that I concluded that live classical wasn't about to be come my new pastime. Then there's the library- I used to practically live there, but even if I were to find one with a decent English book selection it wouldn't be a place to relax and spend time at. Libraries here are the domain of old men, and they occupy every seat all day long leaving nowhere for a youngish book-loving lady to browse. I also once frequented museums and art galleries, taking advantage of discounted days or free nights. In Japan the major museums are pricey and never, ever offer discounts, and popular exhibits are horribly crowded. True, there are plenty of smaller galleries and museums here that are free or affordable, but they are often so small and/or specialized that they aren't worth going out of my way for. Or maybe that's just my lack of culture showing. Damn you, Japan!
  
• On the other hand, I watch less TV than I did when I lived in Canada, and that probably goes far to balance my lack of culture.
  
• My posture is the pits. I used to have excellent posture, and was complimented on it frequently. But in my sixteen years in Japan I think I've had a grand total of one person mention it. It's not because people don't dole out compliments here, because they do- but it tends to be about different things. Like my height, my "tall" nose, or my "small" face. (Come to think of it I rarely hear the latter anymore. I guess second chins cancel out small faces.) Or really dumb stuff like my chopstick skills or my Japanese ability (most often after saying a single word like "konnichiwa"). But my (formerly) straight back and strong, graceful walk? Not noticed or appreciated. In Japan, a beautiful lady can slump her shoulders, lower her head and clomp around in her high heels and still be considered a beautiful lady. Not that I need compliments to maintain good habits, but it's hard to stay motivated to keep up something that isn't valued. And in the meantime, after years of dealing with miniature-sized furniture, low countertops and forehead-level door frames here, I'm starting to blend right in. (Well, minus the high heels and the "beautiful lady" part. At least I still have a tall nose.)
• I no longer need to drink sweet drinks all the time. Pop is for special occasions (OK, weekends). Juice is a treat too and no longer comes in a bucket-sized glass. Coffee may be sweet but it's for waking up or to go with dessert. If I'm thirsty I drink water, or hot green tea, or cold barley tea, or something else that doesn't need sugar.
  
• I've become more of a meat eater. This may be a surprise, since the Japanese are supposed to live on fish and vegetables, but as any vegetarian here will tell you: meat is everywhere. I ate very little meat before I came to Japan, especially red meat. I didn't even like pork. I got most of my protein from tofu and beans, and animal protein was usually chicken and shrimp. Maybe some lean ground beef once in a while, but that's about it. And then I came to Japan, where meat was in everything, and it was delicious. Even pork- especially pork. It's not like the average person here eats tonnes of meat or anything, but but most meals will have a small amount of animal flesh, and that's a very sensible approach.
  
• I've learned to appreciate fat. This is also a bit counter-intuitive, since Japanese cuisine is thought to be so light and healthy. It can be, but the Japanese also give fat its due, acknowledging that moderate amounts of it can be a good thing. This was hard to accept at first. I was used to lean meats, skim milk and low-fat everything. When I first came to Japan, low-fat milk was impossible to find and I couldn't stomach to 4% fat milk that was the norm. Low-fat cheese or ice cream or muffins didn't exist. The heavy marbling of wagyu (Kobe-style Japanese beef) and the gelatinous fat of braised pork belly horrified me. But somewhere along the line I gave fat a chance and realized something: it sure is tasty! Now I know that there is nothing more delicious than an ice-cold glass of full fat milk, low-fat products are usually not worth eating, and fatty meat is heavenly. Actually, I think a lot of North Americans have also been enlighted in this way, thanks to the foodie movement (sorry, I hate the word "foodie" but how else can I put it?). Maybe I would have learned to love fat if I'd stayed in Canada, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have been a wagyu steak that changed my mind.
  
• I've learned the importance of "ki wo tsukau" (to be considerate; to pay heed to another's needs). I've actually always been the type of person to make offers twice ("Hey, you want something to drink?" "No, thanks" "Are you sure?) or three times ("Are you sure you're sure?"). So in a superficial way I already got the concept, but it took a few years of living here for the true meaning of "ki wo tsukau" to sink in. It could be as simple as not hogging all the cookies on a shared platter, even though you're really hungry and they're your favourite kind. Or making sure that the person next to you can reach the soy sauce bottle, or doesn't have a bunch of empty dishes in her way. It sometimes shows up in weird ways, like a friend (or a few times, a stranger) entering the ladies room ahead of me and taking the washiki (Japanese-style squat toilet) stall and leaving the prized yoshiki (western style toilet) stall for me. An early lesson was learning to wake up my husband with a gentle kiss rather than a shove and "Hey, get up". The latter is actually easier, faster, and more immediately effective, but who wants to be woken up that way? I'm not all that good at it yet, and some people take it too far (it can easily turn into fussing, or be based on false assumptions, or cause excess inhibition), but when done well consideration is a very good skill for a human being to have.

There are many, many more, but it's past 10:00 and I need to get to bed. Can I blame that on Japan? Sure beats admitting I'm an lame old mom. For those of you living in Japan or otherwise abroad, how has your life changed?

Kinchakuda

At the end of September I took Shuma to Kinchakuda, a park in Hidaka City, Saitama that is famed for its flowers. I've been wanting to go for years but never had the time, and now that I often find myself at a loss as to how I'm supposed to fill up the days with a baby I thought this would be a nice little outing. I was right, and aside from a really sore back from carrying him for most of the day things went great. I'm guessing the early toddler years are a good time to do touristy stuff like this, before he's old enough to get bored of it.

The park can be visited as part of a hike or long walk, but I chose to go directly from the station (Koma Station on the Seibu Chichibu Line). It took about fifteen minutes and was a rather pleasant walk, along paths lined with farm fields, rice paddies and chestnut orchards. There were also vendors for much of the way selling local flowers, produce and crafts. I was interested in the sesame, which we'd seen growing a few years ago in nearby Hanno, and I wonder if the area produces a lot of it.

There were also plenty of flowers, and as we got closer to the park they increased, as did the crowds. After paying my 200 yen entry fee, this is what I saw:

The flowers in question are called here manjushage (曼珠沙華), and more commonly known as higanbana (彼岸花; English names include red spider lily, cluster amaryllis, and storm lily).

This is what a single flower looks like, and it's beautiful enough on its own, but people come here to see thousands of them together in a sea of red. Indeed, if you've seen a picture of a field of higanbana then it was probably taken here, as Kinchakuda is famed throughout Japan. Speaking of pictures, I wasn't expecting to take amazing ones, but here are some examples of what more talented photographers can do with these flowers.

So of course even though we went on a weekday we had to deal with major crowds, and it was slow moving along the narrow paths in the park. Luckily the place is well-designed and the number and layout of the paths make it possible to occasionally escape the worst crowding and also get some pictures that aren't filled with people.

There was evidence here and there of the previous week's Typhoon 15, one of the biggest storms to pass through in recent memory. Here a few trees have been knocked over but left where they lay, presumably so as not to disturb the flowers.

Near the middle of the park was a market area full of vendors selling snacks and local products, so I bought a simple lunch and found a place by the nearby Komagawa River to sit down and eat it. Shuma charmed the pants off of the surrounding picnickers, and the couple seen on the right in the above picture gave him a manju (sweet bun stuffed with red bean jam). Which I brought home for Hideaki, because Shuma hasn't discovered sweets yet.

Across the river was a small landslide from the typhoon. The river was nice and shallow and looked to be a great spot for swimming in the summer, so we'll be back.

The other side of the park was far less crowded, perhaps because the flowers weren't quite in full bloom yet.

Can you spot the dragonfly above? It's an akatombo (red dragonfly, or autumn darter), the same as the one below:

This is the Aiaibashi Bridge, a pedestrian bridge said to be the biggest of its type in Japan.

Every once in a while there were white higanbana, which are even harder to photograph than red (the flowers also come in pink and yellow).

Watch out squeamish people, a spider shot follows:

You didn't think I would do a whole post without a picture of Shuma, did you? Of course, it was hard to take his picture- he can stand by himself but every time I backed up to take his picture he would grab the flowers and try to eat or otherwise destroy them.

By the time I left the higanbana section of the park it was late afternoon. This would be a good time for serious photographers to visit, as the light was lovely and the crowds were thinning out.

Nearby there were fields of cosmos. The park actually has several types of flowers that bloom throughout the year, although higanbana are by far the most famous.

More pictures can be seen here.

 

Kinchakuda
Saitama-ken Hidaka-shi Koma Hongo 125-2
042-982-0268
15 minutes from Koma Station on the Seibu Chichicu Line; can also be accessed on hiking routes from Komagawa Station (JR Hachiko and Kawagoe Lines) and Hanno Station (Seibu Ikebukuro Line)
Open daily from 7:00am to 5:00pm during the higanbana season (two to three weeks around late September, but varies; season announced in September here)
Admission 200 yen during the higanbana season; free during the rest of the year
Parking 500 yen
Wheelchair and stroller accessible, but most paths are unpaved and crowds may be hard to navigate

Hammered

There's always something interesting on display at the fish market in our local Super Value (a discount supermarket chain), but this won't be topped anytime soon:

A whole hammerhead shark, landed in Miyagi Prefecture and selling for a mere 3800 yen. Alas, we don't have a pot big enough to cook the thing so we had to pass, but I did learn a new word: "hammerhead shark" is shumokuzame in Japanese.

Shinagawa Staycation

Hideaki had a Friday off this past weekend, which fell right between our anniversary and Shuma's birthday. We really wanted to take a trip to the beach to celebrate, but without time or funds for a drive or flight far away we were left with somewhere near Tokyo. Well, the water around Tokyo is already nasty enough, and although I doubt there is any appreciable amount of radiation in the ocean in these parts it just didn't feel right letting Shuma into the ocean. So after a long search for Tokyo hotels that both still had pools open (a lot of hotels have outdoor pools only, and the season is really short) and allowed babies in them, we settled on the Shinagawa Prince Hotel. I found a good deal that included a night in one of the best rooms (35th floor, main tower), four tickets to the pool and fancy buffet breakfast, and it cost 20400 yen for all of us.

It was a great choice as I had to go through Shinagawa anyway, on my way to immigration to pick up my new visa. So a little announcement: I now have a permanent residence visa! I no longer have to worry about extending my visa (or getting arrested for forgetting- oops!) and won't be kicked out when my spouse visa expires due to a divorce or Hideaki dying. Not that I'm planning anything, but, you know. It's a relief.

So back to the hotel: it's  not a terribly fancy place, but very very big and with lots to do (movie theatre, bowling alley, aquarium, two pools, tonnes of restaurants, shopping etc). We didn't leave the building (well, complex of buildings) for twenty-four hours but still really enjoyed ourselves. We started with just checking our room out. Shuma loves exploring new places and we might as well have been at Disneyland for all the fun he had.

Our view wasn't great, mostly office buildings and Shinagawa Station, but if Shuma were a little older he would have loved being able to see all the trains, especially the shinkansen (bullet train).

We had a late lunch downstairs at Anna Miller's. We were playing it safe because of Shuma, and the food was as unimpressive and overpriced as we expected, but I finally got to try the pie people have been raving about for years. Here's the thing- I love apple pie, and by apple pie I mean the North American kind with rich, flaky pastry and gooey, cinnamon-scented filling. The Japanese kind, with tough pastry and a firm, bland filling, just doesn't cut it. So I've been suspicious of Japanese peoples' claims that Anna Miller's apple pie is the best ever. But I had to try and it turns out that- yes! It's the best apple pie I've ever had in Japan. Maybe not the best in the world, but it's a true American apple pie. Yay. So I'll be back for a kid-friendly dessert sometime.

After lunch we tried the pool. There is an indoor pool, with a sauna, jacuzzi and kiddie pool, but it was off-limits due to swimming lessons at the time so we used the outdoor pool. It also had a kiddie pool, which was the only place babies were allowed and was freezing cold, and although Shuma and I are pretty tough when it comes to water temperature we didn't last very long.

The boys needed a nap after all that strenuous lunch-eating and pool-frolicking. Actually, I'm the one who needed a nap after getting a very squirmy Shuma in and out of his swimming diaper and swimsuit and stopping him from crawling away while I was changing, all the while trying to preserve my modesty and hide my tattoo, which is of course not allowed (the tattoo, I mean). It was exhausting, but he loved being in the water so much that it was worth it.

Next up was Aqua Stadium, the hotel's aquarium. This was Shuma's second visit, and the place is notable not so much for its aquarium displays (although the shark and ray tunnel is very cool) but for its seal and dolphin shows. I had been prepared to hate the shows the first time but found myself really enjoying them, and of course Shuma loved watching the seals and dolphins perform. This show was a little different from the first one, in that there were almost no kids and thus far less splashing (the first time I went everybody in the first few rows got soaked), the lights were darker, and the music they played before, during and after the performance was kind of romantic. Or at least the Japanese version of romantic: 80's ballads, 10cc's "I'm not in Love", and gospel! Apparently dolphin shows are a very popular date venue.

So he loved the show but he also loved watching the fish and other non-performing creatures, and the lights and waves and reflections. He probably would have had a great time without the trained sea mammals, and now that I think about it the part I liked best about the shows was just being able to sit down and watch at our leisure. Wouldn't it be nice if aquariums had seats to let you sit down and watch the fish? Actually, they did put out seats in the tunnel for the last few hours the aquarium was open, with the lights turned low and little tables with candles, and they were serving drinks so we sat down and had some champagne and watched the rays glide overhead. I think that's the best idea ever, but then we noticed that everyone else was in couples and we remembered it was like 8:30 on a Friday night so we gulped down our drinks and got ourselves out of there. I may be an obnoxiously doting parent, but I do realize that nothing spoils a romantic atmosphere more than a baby. Even a good one.

There is also a restaurant we didn't try that has fish tanks at every table. But more aquariums should have seats! It's such a brilliant idea. I'd never leave (maybe that's why they don't).

Watching Shuma's face was just as interesting as watching the fish. He was really mesmerised by everything and I wish more pictures had turned out.

After the dolphin show they announced that you could touch one of the dolphins for 700 Yen, and because we're idiot parents we stepped right up. Of course Shuma was scared, and in the special commemorative picture they took (which we didn't buy) he looked absolutely terrified. I think it was being held over a giant tank of water that scared him, rather than the dolphin itself, and who would blame him. They dolphin trainer was really nice about it (as was the dolphin), and let us just look at the dolphin from the side of the tank, taking quite a bit longer than the other kids. He also encouraged us to take lots of pictures, which is nice (too bad most of them didn't turn out).

I'm still totally on the fence about animals as entertainment, especially dolphins. When Shuma is a few years older and expresses an interest on his own I may try another dolphin touching/kissing/swimming type thing. Ooh, and a few years after that maybe he'll be old enough to take to Mikurajima or Ogasawara to see them in the wild! Can't wait.

We had a quick dinner at the hotel's family-friendly food court, and then went to bed early. The hotel has a daycare centre, right next to the aquarium and movie theatre, so we'd thought about putting Shuma there and watching a movie or getting some cocktails (or going upstairs to our room), but it turns out that you need to make an appointment for anything after 6:00 (and even then it closes at 9:00) and we were too late. This isn't a country that encourages people to have a life after kids.

The next morning we had breakfast at the hotel's nicest buffet. The food was pretty good and they had corner booths with low sofas reserved for families, so we got a nice place to sit. After checking out we tried the pool again, and because it was daytime and very hot it was excellent. We were able to stay for much longer, and also able to try the indoor area, and Shuma had such a good time and charmed the pants off of tonnes of people. Before going home we went across the street to TGIFriday's for lunch. Perhaps because we'd had something similar the day before, but I wasn't into greasy American food so didn't really enjoy it. Ooh, but I liked my cocktail and truly wished I could wean the boy right there and then so I could have more.

Shuma had a blast! We'd mentioned it was his birthday, so he got the full birthday treatment with a half-dozen staff members (and all the tables near us- I love that about Japan) singing happy birthday and a free dessert and picture. He had exactly the kind of reaction you hope for: several seconds of utter shock and confusion followed by total delight. It was so awesome that I want to do it a few more times (after all, his birthday isn't until next week).

The dessert (an ice cream sundae) was just a bonus, and of course we couldn't let him eat it with his dairy allergy and all so we had to finish it ourselves. We're such good parents. We did give him the maraschino cherry, which is the sweetest thing he's ever eaten so it goes without saying that he liked it. It was really nice of them to take a picture but it was not only a really bad photo but possible the worst one ever taken of Hideaki and I. Luckily Shuma looks OK, he's Mr. Photogenic.

And then we had to go home. It was sad for our little staycation (ooh, I hate that term, but what else can I call it?) to be over, but it felt like we'd been away from home for days. In a good way. Just one night, but much cheaper and easier to prepare for than a real vacation, and so much fun. We're thinking of making this a tradition.

 

Shinagawa Prince Hotel
Plans start at about 5000 Yen per person (double occupancy) in one of the annexes up to several tens of thousands of yen; if you're with family it's worth spending a little bit extra for a nice room in the more expensive main tower

Anna Miller's
Apple pie a la mode 819 Yen, whole pie 4148 Yen; other American style pies also available
High chairs for older children only (no belt)

Shinagawa Prince Hotel Pool
Indoor pool open 8:00am to 11:00am, 1:00pm to 4:00pm; 6:00pm to 9:00pm; Outdoor pool open 8:00am to 6:00pm from mid-June to mid-September
Admission for hotel guests from 1100 yen, various plans for non-guests
Babies and toddlers in diapers allowed in kiddie pools only (both indoor and outdoor pools)

Epson Aqua Stadium
Open weekdays 12:00pm to 10:00pm, Saturdays 10:00am to 10:00pm, Sundays and holidays 1:00am to 9:00pm
Adults 1800 Yen, 1000 for elementary and middle school aged kids, 600 for preschool kids above 4, free for kids under 4. Guests of the Shinagawa Prince Hotel (and several other nearby hotels) get 300 Yen off admission. Weekdays after 6:00pm admission is 1000 Yen

Food Court Shinagawa Kitchen
10:00am to 10:00pm 8 food counters plus (licenced) drink counter
High chairs for older children only (no belt)

TGI Friday's
Weekdays, Sundays and holidays 11:00am to 1:00am; Fridays, Saturdays and days before holidays 11:00am to 3:00am
Baby high chairs (with belt) and booster seats available

Baby Swings in and around Tokyo

This is a baby swing, common in parks all over Canada and, I assume, many other countries as well. But not in Japan. After Shuma fell in love with baby swings during our recent visit back home I've been searching the local playgrounds for them, without luck. What I found instead are these awful Japanese style swings.

In Canada most full-sized swings feature a nice comfy strip of rubber that can be used by both kids and adults, but Japanese swings' seats are made of a plastic board. This hurts to sit on, being a hard surface, and is so narrow that adults will find joints on each side jabbing painfully into their hips. If they can even get into it, that is: women blessed with wide hips, or adults of any gender with a few extra pounds (extra bonus points for being both, not that I would know anything about that) will have trouble in squeezing in.

To make matters worse, the seat swivels front to back, making it hard for little kids to balance on. I've seen toddlers and little kids being taught how to use these swings, and it involves lots of crying, begging to go home, and falling down on the kid's part, and plenty of "gambatte" (try your best) and patience on the parent's part. So there's a steep learning curve, whereas back home kids kind of segue naturally from the baby swing to the big swing without much fuss.

So naturally I'm on the search for proper baby style swings here in Tokyo, or even the rubber-strip style adult swings, so I can at least hold Shuma while I swing. After asking around I was relieved to learn that they do exist here, as I'd been worried maybe they were banned here or something. They are called omutsugata buranko (おむつ型ブランコ, literally diaper-shaped swing) or akachan-you buranko (赤ちゃん用ブランコ, baby swing) and are not yet widely known but starting to show up in newer parks. Unfortunately none of these parks are near me, or near anything I'd like to go to, but at least there's hope.

So here are the parks that I know of so far that feature baby swings. It's all heresay as I haven't actually been to any of them yet, so please let me know if any of this information is wrong. And please, please, please leave a comment if you know of another park with baby swings or rubber full-sized swings, anywhere in Japan but especially in Tokyo.

 

Parks in and near Tokyo with Baby Swings:

Korekiyo Takahashi Memorial Park (高橋是清翁記念公園)
Next to the Canadian Embassy, near Aoyama-itchome Station
Tokyo-to, Minato-ku, Akasaka 7-3-39 (東京都港区赤坂7-3-39)
03-5413-7015

Shinjuku Chuo Park (新宿中央公園)
In Nishi Shinjku
Tokyo-to, Shinkuku-ku, Nishi Shinjuku 2-11 (東京都新宿区西新宿2－11)
03-3342-4509

A small park outside of Shirokane-takanawa station
Address unknown (Let me know in the comments if you have any info)

Kinuta Park (砧公園)
Near Youga Station in Setagaya
Tokyo-to, Setagaya-ku, Kinuta Kouen 1-1 (東京都世田谷区砧公園1-1)
03-3700-0414

Sakae Park (さかえ公園)
Next to Ario Nishi Arai in Adachi-ku, near Nishi Arai Station
Tokyo-to, Adachi-ku, Nishi Arai Sakaecho 1 (東京都足立区西新井栄町1) 

Toneri Park (舎人公園)
Near Takenozuka Station in Adachi-ku
Tokyo-to, Adachi-ku, Toneri Kouen 1-1 (東京都足立区舎人公園1-1)
03-3857-2308 

Besshonuma Park (別所沼公園)
Near Naka Urawa Station in Urawa, Saitama
Saitama-ken, Saitama-shi, Minami-ku Bessho 4 (埼玉県さいたま市南区別所4)
048-836-5678

Showa Kinen Park, Tachikawa (uncomfirmed- let me know if you see swings there)

Kodomo no Hi

 May 5th was Kodomo no Hi (Children's Day, pronounced "koe-doe-moe no hee"), which is the official name for what really is Boys' Day. Also known as Tango no Sekku and celebrated throughout East Asia, it is an ancient celebration that involves, not surprisingly, decorations and tasty treats. Kodomo no Hi is a national holiday (in contrast with the March 3rd Girls' Day for which there is no day off- make of that what you will) that falls during Golden Week, the string of holidays in late April and Early May.

In the weeks before Kodomo no Hi you'll see koinobori (carp streamers) popping up in farm fields, in front of houses and on apartment balconies. These beautiful wind-catchers were originally flown in battlefields, as carp symbolize strength and courage, and as those were desirable traits for sons to possess they became associated with Tango no Sekku. The basic pattern is a colourful windsock on top, then a large black or dark blue carp representing the father, a smaller red or pink carp representing the mother, and a smaller blue or green carp representing the chonan (first-born son). Any further sons are represented by progressively smaller smaller blue, green and purple carp.

The best koinobori are lovingly hand-painted, metres long, and will put you back hundreds of dollars, but you can also just get a cheap set at the 100 Yen Shop, like I did. Obviously this was the first year I've bought and displayed koinobori, and I would have loved to get a really nice set, but it's not quite in the budget.

Actually what I'd really like to do is send a huge set of koinobori to my family in Canada, as it would surely delight both my father and brother. My dad loves windsocks, flags, wind-catchers, and any kind of doodad that can be hung in our backyard to flap in the wind or sparkle in the sun. Which annoys the hell out of my brother, who in recent years has taken over much of the gardening and outdoor work and also spends a great deal of time in the backyard drinking beer and grilling things. He can't stand any kind of decoration or unnatural presence in the backyard (other than his extensive collection of barbeque equipment, of course) and is constantly taking down my dad's decorations. But if I were to send some really handsome koinobori my dad would be able to indulge his love of colourful outdoor ornaments, and my brother would also be pleased because koinobori are only meant to be hung up for a limited time: week or so after Kodomo no Hi and the carp come down. So I'm saving up for next year.

Here is the little Kodomo no Hi display in our living room, on the shelf above the TV (the most auspicious location in a Japanese home). On the wall is a plaque, below it are two decorations we made at our playgroup (koinobori and a pink kabuto, or helmet), and below that is a collection of snacks sent by my mother-in-law.

Here is a better look at the snacks. Inside the blue koinobori is a pack of arare (rice cracker balls, pronounced "ah-rah-ray"), and inside one pack of snacks are little koinobori-shaped crackers.

An even closer look. On the left is ramune flavoured candy in various wrappings, top right is the arare, and in the middle is what's inside the mini koinobori: a long senbei (rice cracker) and a round senbei with a roasted soybean inside. All yummy and sure to delight any boy, but this year they're for adults only.

Here is a closer look at the plaque. It was made by my mother-in-law, whose hobby is enamel work. Isn't it beautiful? It shows a kabuto, which is the helmet that was worn with Japanese armour. Nowadays kabuto are associated with Boys' Day as they symbolize parents' hope that their boys will grow up to be murderous and bloodthirsty warriors. Or maybe these days it's more about strength, health, courage, etc, but I'm not crazy about the association with war so am a bit relieved that we can't afford to display kabuto.

Kabuto for Boys' Day are child-sized (although not really meant to be worn) and normally displayed together with their storage box, a gold screen, and often such extras as miniature arrows, swords, and even full child-sized suits of armour. Here are some examples. A good set costs thousands of dollars and I have to admit are very cool looking, but it's just not the kind of thing I want my boy celebrating. So I was really happy to receive the enamel plaque above- it is pretty, lovingly made, doesn't take up half the living room to display, and really shows the kabuto as a symbol and nothing more. I also think my mother-in-law is really talented and am glad to have a piece of her art.

There are a few kinds of wagashi (Japanese sweets) that are eaten on Kodomo no Hi, but I was unable to find them (maybe I shopped too late and they were sold out?) so this year I got some treats for us grown-ups at a local cake shop. Strawberry cake for Hideaki, mango mousse for me, and also a little "charity cookie" (lots of shops are doing this: you get a yummy cookie if you give a small donation to the earthquake victims). Next year, when Shuma is old enough for sweets, I will make sure to buy the proper chimaki.

Happy Boys' Day!

Hatsuhanami

We had an ohanami (cherry blossom viewing) picnic yesterday, a bit late in the season but our usual spot still had enough flowers on the trees to enchant Shuma. It was his hatsuhanami (first hanami) and was very well timed, as he's starting to really notice stuff around him.

Above is the view I had, and below is our picnic. Nothing fancy, just home cured gravlax and cream cheese on whole wheat (still loving my new breadmaker); cherry tomatoes; fava beans; pineapple; leftover tuna, red pepper and shungiku (chysanthemum greens) frittata; and ham-wrapped carrot sticks. A proper Japanese style bento would have been nice, but until Shuma either grows up or learns to nap, sandwiches it is.

Shuma was kind enough to pre-moisten our sake cups. After that they were filled with sparkling sake, which I bought because it was the only small bottle of sake from the Tohoku region I could find. I didn't expect much but it was nice, although more like cheap Asti than sake. Not that there is anything at all wrong with cheap Asti, but right now northern Japan needs all the help it can get.

Shuma's interest in cherry blossoms, like most things, revolves around whether or not they fit in his mouth. So after having to pry theseventh petal out of his hands or mouth we gave up letting him play with them. So he just enjoyed the view, and we enjoyed viewing him enjoy the view, and much enjoyment was had by all. A very good hatsuhanami.

More pictures are here.

Osaka

At the end of March Shuma and I spent two weeks with my in-laws in Osaka. The trip was originally planned to coincide with my sister-in-law and her family's visit, since my niece had spring break, but to get away from the earthquake's after-effects we left earlier and stayed longer.

Except for a few extra-chilly days (I'd packed for spring but it felt like winter, with more snowy days in those two weeks than I saw all winter) we continued our daily walks, and it was nice to have some new scenery.

My in-laws live at the foot of the mountains in Minoh, in northern Osaka, and in one direction there is a series of terraced allotment farms that make for nice strolling.

In the other direction is a neighborhood with some very traditional old Japanese houses. This one comes complete with a nice kura (storehouse).

Another kura.

Most of these houses are very large by modern Japanese standards.

Not all of the houses retain their traditional charm though. What would have once been a handsome home is ruined by elictrical wires, an air conditioning unit, and a crumbling wall.

I loved the little details like tis little statuette of Ebisu (one of the Seven Lucky Gods) atop a garden wall,

and the roof tile decorated with a family crest.

Not all of the homes in the neighborhood are traditional. There are a few large and striking western style homes, like this one- I love the big mimosa out front.

Strangely, I seem to be the only one impressed by the houses in the area, at least by the Japanese homes. Interesting what people take for granted!

I didn't actually take many pictures while I was there, partly because it didn't really feel like a picture-taking kind of visit. I was actually slightly traumatized when I arrived, from all the aftershocks in Tokyo and fears of radiation, food shortages and blackouts, and it took a while to wear off. I did try to take pictures of Shuma to send to Hideaki, who was all alone back in Tokyo. I'm sure this one cheered him up.

And of course, with three little kids under the same roof, sometimes I just had to take pictures. Here Shuma and his cousin Yuuki share toys. Shuma had just turned six months old, by the way, and Yuuki was nearly three months.

And here they are in their little chairs.

On the sofa with Yuuki's big sister Marya, who is about to begin elementary school.

No big changes on the carseat front since New Years- sometimes he hated it and cried nonstop, and sometimes he liked it.

We took a few trips by train, something I've rarely done during visits to the in-laws. Once to Costco in search of water, which even in Osaka was hard to find, and once to Nakayamadera Temple in neighboring Hyogo Prefecture.

Nakayamadera is the Suitengu of Kansai, where pregnant women and new parents visit to have their babies blessed. Our mission was to find an omamori (amulet) for Marya to keep her safe on her way to and from school.

It's hard to make out, but the cherry blossoms were just starting to open up. This place would have been beautiful about a week later.

The first time I've seen escalators at a temple!

This summer is promising to be a busy one: Shuma's first trip home to Canada, and a few weeks of working at summer camp. So this is likely the last time all three kids will be in Osaka together for quite some time. Who knows, the next time we visit together Shuma and Yuuki will be walking and talking!

More pictures here.

Yuzawa

Last weekend was spent in Yuzawa, a town in Niigata known for its snow and onsens. It was a fun trip, but travelling with a baby is even harder than I thought it would be. And this is even taking into account the fact that Shuma was extremely well behaved- it's all the extra stuff you have to carry, all the careful planning, the lack of freedom and the effort involved in keeping a baby amused that made it hard. (And I know you experienced parents are all snorting and thinking 'yeah, wait until he's a toddler', but please let me wallow in self-pity for a while.)

We started by meeting my sister-in-law, her husband and daughter Marya, 5, and son Yuuki, 2 1/2 months, and taking the shinkansen (bullet train) together. This was the easiest part of the trip, since Shuma and I are already experienced shinkansen riders, having taken the bullet train to Osaka for new years. This time the ride was shorter and Hideaki was with us, so I got to relax and have an ekiben (train station lunchbox). In this case it was a special chirashizushi (sushi rice topped with decorative morsels) box for Hinamatsuri (Girls' Day), and it was so nice to eat something that didn't need to quickly be scarfed down with one hand. Snacks were chips, nitamago (boiled egg simmered in soy sauce) and (a sip of) beer.

Shuma behaved beautifully, and the ride went by quickly. The only downside was that we were in the bottom of a double-decker car so didn't get much of a view. But when we arrived at Echigo Yuzawa station it was hard to believe we'd been in the centre of Tokyo just an hour and fifteen minuted earlier. We were surrounded by mountains and everything was covered in about a metre of snow. If you could block out the town's ugly buildings, it was beautiful.

I'm not a skier, and Shuma probably isn't so good either, so we helped Hideaki get geared up (and when we saw how much his rental equipment and lift pass cost, we were glad we weren't joining him).

We spent the afternoon relaxing with hot chocolate, playing with the babies, watching kids pound mochi (sticky rice), and then of course eating the results.

During the trip Shuma had more naps than he'd had since he was a newborn. He always naps better when Hideaki is around (which drives me nuts- why can't he nap when it's just me and I have stuff to do?) but this was impressive. Here is Shuma during dinner- we were each able to take turns holding him while we took many, many trips to the hotel buffet.

We slept on futons and tatami, which was very nice and made me wish we had a tatami room at home- it's very baby friendly.

The next morning Hideaki skied some more and we went out to watch.

Can you guess which one's him?

The bottom of the hill was full of kids learning to ski, and there was a kid's play area that you had to pay to get in but it didn't look much fun for babies. So we watched Marya ski (her first time!) and played in the snow.

 

Of course Shuma fell asleep while we played. He was a bit underwhelmed by the snow- he loved looking at it but didn't have much of a reaction to grabbing it and eating it. And I guess his snowsuit was just too comfy for him to resist a nap.

And then it was time to go. And even though it all went smoothly and Shuma was mostly an angel, we were exhausted. Does travelling with a baby get easier with practice?

A few more pictures here.

Wrapping up the holidays

Oshogatsu (New Year's) didn't begin or end in Osaka. It started just after Christmas with oosouji (great cleaning), which for most families involves the complete cleaning of the house from top to bottom in order to purify it for the coming new year. My oosouji consisted of doing a giant pile of dishes and giving the sink an extra-thorough scrubbing, so it wasn't that great of a cleaning, but I think I did pretty well under the circumstances.

Our home thus purified, we took the Christmas wreath down from the front door and replaced it with the shimekazari above. This is a special decoration that designates a space as holy, welcoming the gods and warding off bad luck. Each component symbolizes some sort of wish for the new year (the fake pine branch in ours represents longetivity, but don't ask me about the other stuff), and it is hung not only on front doors of homes, but at shops, restaurants, and on cars. This particular one was chosen because it was the smallest, least gaudy, and most importantly, the cheapest we could find and it wasn't until I took it down a couple weeks later that I noticed it said koutsuu anzen, which means "traffic safety". It was meant to be hung on a car.

My husband, who is allegedly Japanese, helped pick it out and either didn't bother reading it or didn't think he needed to mention that this was for cars only. But the numerous people who saw it (our landlords who live next door, their son's family, who live upstairs, various mail carriers and delivery people) probably thought "Jesus, when is that idiot foreigner going to learn how to read?"

Inside the house was another decoration: the kagami mochi (literally "mirror mochi"). These slabs of mochi (rice paste) are usually topped with a daidai citrus, symbolizing the wish for fertility. But as we've had quite enough of that already we went for the non-traditional but more appropriate maneki neko (beckoning cat), which represents our desire for cold hard cash.

After we'd all returned from Osaka in the new year, we went to a local shrine for hatsumoude (first prayer of the year).

Once we'd offered our prayers we bought our fortunes in the form of these omikuji. Mine on the left says kichi (good luck) and Hideaki's says hankichi (half good luck), which is a designation we'd never heard of so we asked the lady behind the counter what exactly it meant. It turns out that she was a philosophical type, and her explanation started off with "Well, the fortunes can't really be ranked from good to bad" (except that they totally can) and went on for quite some time, with gist being "it doesn't really matter what your fortune says, it's how you yourself decide interpret it". We found it pretty funny considering omikuji always come with extremely specific designations ranging from daikichi (best good luck) to daikyou (worst bad luck) and very detailed predictions in a number of categories like "love", "study", and "health". We still have no idea what hankichi means: is it half luck as in neutral? or as in half-way between regular good luck and best good luck? what is the difference between hankichi and chuukichi (medium luck)? But we've been having lots of fun mimicking the shrine lady (for example, in answer to "Is this towel clean?": "Well, it can't really be designated as clean or dirty. It's up to you to decide its level of cleanliness").

On January 7th we ate the customary nanakusagayu, which is rice porridge with the seven herbs of spring. Those herbs were described a few years back, and a few years before that I posted a recipe.

The next thing to be done in the new year was kagami biraki (breaking the mirror). This is when the kagami mochi that was displayed at the end of the year is broken and eaten. We did ours as isobeyaki (grilled and wrapped in nori seaweed) with melted cheese and flavoured with shichimijouyuu (soy sauce with seven spice mix).

The last custom involved with the new year is Setsubun, which coincides with the Chinese New Year's festival (in the olden days Japan followed the same lunar calendar as China, and Setsubun was actually part of the New Year's festivities). To celebrate, we tossed dried soybeans in and out of all windows and doors to our apartment while whispering (you're supposed to shout, but Shuma had just been put down for a nap) at demons to get out and good fortune to come in. Mamemaki (throwing of the beans) is an ancient custom, but a much newer one is the eating of ehomaki, which are special futomaki (fat sushi rolls). The ehomaki must be eaten in a specific way: by hand, without being cut, without talking or pausing, and while facing the year's eho (auspicious direction). Kyoto Foodie has a nice explanation of ehomaki.

Neither Hideaki or I are particularly fond of ehomaki as the filling tends to be too sweet and it's so large that eating it without pause is unpleasant. So this year I found half-sized ehomaki, which we ate in silence while facing south-southeast, pondering what kind of luck half-sized sushi rolls would bring us.

Wait, I know the answer: "It doesn't really matter what size your sushi roll is, it's how you choose to interpret it."

Oshogatsu

What I did for Oshogatsu (the new year holidays): spent nine babyriffic days with my in-laws in Osaka.

You'll recognise one of those babies in the picture above. The other baby is his cousin.

Meet Yuuki, my three week old nephew. He was there with his mom (Hideaki's sister) and his big sister, Marya.

It was highly entertaining sharing a roof with two babies and a five year old, and not nearly as noisy as I'd imagined. In fact, every time we heard a baby crying we knew it was Shuma, as Yuuki barely cries at all- he just gives the occasional, very polite, little whimper. 

My visit started with a fancy double-decker bento, full of tasty morsels too numerous to list here. The next night we had tonyu nabe (soy milk hotpot), which was a first for me and is way better than it sounds, but like a lot of meals I was too distracted by the baby to take pictures. I'll be trying it at home soon and will be sure to blog about it then.

Shuma had all kinds of firsts in Osaka, starting with his first time riding in a car seat. After a bit of crying he seemed to like it, and it was one of the few places he was able to nap. Now I really wish we had a car!

He also had his first experience sleeping on a Japanese style futon. Considering he continued to sleep well at night (and refuse to nap during the day), I think he liked it.

Other developments included a dramatic increase in the use of his hands, and the first time playing with a toy all by himself. This Very Hungry Caterpillar became a favourite.

He met his first doggy, a pomeranian named Shiro. They became good friends and Shuma was on the receiving end of many a sloppy dog kiss, which delighted both him and Shiro.

And a very exciting first: snow! We had one day of snow, and it was actually cold enough to build up a little, so of course we went out for a walk. His reaction?

"We are not amused."

He wasn't impressed by the whiteness of it all, didn't seem to like the cold, and had no reaction to a bit of snow on his cheek. I'm not a winter person at all, but I was a wee bit disappointed.

But he's half Canadian, so he'll learn to love snow eventually I'm sure.

 

The best first of all was him meeting Yuuki. Like all babies they loved looking at each other.

In Japan, New Year's Eve can sometimes seem a little anti-climactic, but for the last several years ours have been very fun. In addition to the traditional toshikoshi soba (year crossing noodles) we feast on crabs sent from my brother-in-law in Hokkaido. No pictures this time as I was busy taking care of Shuma and cracking crab legs. But wow, were they ever good.

The new year begins with three days of osechi (traditional new year's food). Osechi are heavily seasoned and meant to last throughout the holidays, and most are symbolic of various wishes for the year, but as I've explained some of them in past years (here's last year's) I think I can skip it this time.

Osechi is usually served in a multi-layered lacquerware box, but my in-laws favour this revolving server. Above we have, from top, kamaboko (steamed fish paste), tainoko (bream roe), gomame (glazed baby fish), kazunoko (herring roe), sake no kaburamaki (thinly sliced daikon rolled around salmon), datemaki (thick rolled omelet), and kuromame (black soybeans) in the middle.

Kuromame are flavoured with soy sauce, while the shiromame (white beans) above are sweet.

Kurikinton is another sweet one, made of mashed sweet potatoes and chestnuts.

New this year was the kaburamaki, which was marinated in vinegar so nice and refreshing with all the other heavy flavours.

This is matsumaezuke, which is pickled kazunoko (herring roe), konbu (kelp), sakiika (dried skid) and carrot. It's homemade and very good, and the only way I like herring roe.

Above is more of the matsumaezuke, chicken braised with anise, and homemade kimchi. All excellent drinking snacks, and I would have done much more drinking if I hadn't had a little one to feed.

Other osechi included the umani (braised vegetables and beef) at bottom left, which includes the auspicious kuwai (arrowroot) and the namasu (pickled daikon and carrot) at bottom right. Usually for breakfast and lunch osechi is served with mochi (sticky rice cakes) while for dinner it is served with rice and non-osechi side dishes, like the buta no kakuni (braised pork belly) and stir-fried vegatables shown above.

A meal of osechi always starts off with a toast of otoso, a syrupy concoction of sake steeped in sugar and medicinal herbs.

The mochi is usually served in ozoni, a clear soup with chicken and vegetables (at least at my in-laws' house- the soup varies depending on the region and family).

Osechi is always eaten with brand-new chopsticks served in pretty paper wraps. The ones above have our names on them.

New Year's Day is doubly special for us, because it's also my father-in-law's birthday. He turned 77, which is a big deal in Japan and normally we would have gone out to celebrate, but with a brand-new and almost-new baby we stayed home and had a feast delivered.

It came in several huge boxes, with everything already plated- all we had to do was set the table (and wash all the dishes before they were picked up the next day). The meal started with a tray of pretty appetisers, above, along with suimono (clear soup) and chawan mushi (savoury egg custard).

We each had our own servings of sukiyaki that came on little burners.

Here's the sukiyaki served with the onsen tamago (poached egg) provided. A very nice meal, but hopefully we'll all be able to go out for FIL's next auspicious birthday, his 88th.

The next day we tried to do hatsumode (first prayer of the year) at a local shrine, but the line-up was too long so we just bought a few snacks at the yatai (food stalls) and added some fuel to the dondonyaki.

Dondonyaki is a fire on which last year's New Year's decorations burnt. Marya was in charge and did a fine job.

She was hardly scared of the fire and very proud of herself for getting up close.

Hideaki didn't get any time off for the holidays, so just came for one night. While we dropped him off at the airport we took a few lame pictures.

They had a clearly male ground crew member, a clearly male pilot, and two nearly identical skirted and high heeled stewardesses. Did we just ring in 2011, or 1961? Hideaki is mildly obsessed with those ground crew workers who direct taxiing airplanes (there's got to be a proper name for them), so that's what Shuma got to be.

Shuma had way too much attention to really notice his daddy was gone. He had a special seat which he sat in, with the help of a Bumbo, and he took to sitting in it with his arms on the armrest, which earned him the nickname of "Shacho" (president).

Yuuki was just starting to give those fleeting newborn smiles, and I managed to catch one. He felt so tiny when I held him, and it was hard to believe Shuma was the same size just three months before.

For our last night we had homestyle yakiniku (a Japanese version of Korean bbq), which is cooked on an electric griddle at the table.

This could very well have been the best beef I've ever had.

Instead of the usual yakiniku sauce, we had oroshiponzu (grated daikon with ponzu, a soy-citrus sauce). Delicious!

On the bullet train ride home Shuma was a very good boy, which was a relief as I was not looking forward to being on the receiving end of stink eyes from other passengers annoyed by his crying. I hope our first flight goes this well.

It was hard for both of us to get used to being back home- hard for me to get back into doing my own cooking and laundry, and hard for Shuma to adjust to the lack of non-stop noise, excitement, and attention. But I think we've got the hang of it now, and he's even napping once in a while. I hope it's a skill that he gets better at in 2011.

Happy New Year!

May you all have a wonderful 2011!

(Argh, Typepad cut off a chunk of the right side of the postcard. Click on the pictrure if you'd like to see the whole thing.)

Nengajo sneak preview

After 11 years of making childish nengajo (new year's postcards) with stamps and ink, I finally have myself a real live model to make picture postcards with. Naturally I went all out and dressed Shuma up as next year's zodiac animal, the  rabbit (with big thanks to Mila's Daydreams for the inspiration). But what exactly is going on with the yellow circle, mallet and bucket-like thing?

The yellow circle is the moon and the mallet and bucket are a kine and usu, which are a large mortar and pestle used for making mochi (sticky rice paste). And what does a rabbit have to do with the moon and mochi-making? Well, a mochi-making rabbit is what the Japanese see when they look at the moon, that's what.

For most of the photo session Shuma refused to hold the kine, which is only fair considering he's only just learned how to hold things.

Or he just wanted to eat it.

But I got enough snaps of him holding it to make choosing just one a tough decision. Stay tuned to see the finished product!

Fall Colours

Fall is in full swing and the local leaves are looking pretty. These are some of the sights I see on my regular walking route (plus one gratuitous baby shot- just couldn't help myself).

Cultural Differences: No Sex Please, We're Pregnant

Women all over the world are faced with lists of things to avoid while pregnant, so I wasn't surprised to learn that Japan has a very long list of its own. What did surprise was just how different some of the prohibited items and activities are, with women here banned from doing things that pregnant women back home take for granted. So here is a list of some of the odder restrictions I've come across so far:

Sex

I'm pretty sure that these days no medical practitioner or pregnancy guide in Japan actually prohibits sex during a healthy pregnancy, but the general public apparently doesn't know that. Compared to English language pregnancy websites and books (which will usually have several pages or even a whole chapter dedicated to pregnant sex, perhaps with helpful illustrations of recommended positions), Japanese pregnancy resources have little to say about sex. Basically, the Japanese advice is: yes, it's safe, but be careful. And wear a condom. Seriously, a few posts back I mentioned seeing the condom suggestion in one of my Japanese pregnancy magazines, and since then it's popped up in several other resources. Apparently a naked penis is too filthy to be allowed anywhere near a fetus, and experts (including one doctor) here require it to be sheathed in latex. Which really takes all the fun out of pregnancy sex, as when else can you indulge in unprotected, spontaneous sex? (To be fair, I was able to find a few English websites recommending condoms during pregnancy, but that was only in a few very specific situations, like when having sex with a new partner. Which has to be the funniest English-language pregnancy advice I'd heard yet).

With or without a condom, however, I don't think a lot of sex is being had among expecting Japanese couples. According to my own research, which is admittedly unscientific and completely anecdotal (talking to Japanese friends and acquaintances, skimming through Japanese message boards and Question and Answer type websites, and reading about the experiences of foreigners married to Japanese on English language blogs and message boards) plenty of Japanese couples completely abstain from sex during pregnancy. There seem to  be two main reasons for this: a strong belief that sex can harm the fetus, and embarrassment by Japanese women (who are famously weight-conscious) about their weight gain and big bellies. Of course, given the popularity of the sexless marriage here (an estimated 30% of Japanese married couples don't have sex at all), pregnancy could just be a sensible time to start practicing abstinence.

Work

As with sex, there is no official rule against working while pregnant, but it's still the norm for women to quit their jobs by the second trimester. Most Japanese people are quite shocked to hear that North American women often work throughout their entire pregnancies, and while some women here express envy that women abroad can choose when to quit, most people seem to think women should stay at home while pregnant. I've actually never met a Japanese woman who worked during her pregnancy, but I've heard foreign women in Japan complain of difficulties while working during pregnancy: of not being able to find maternity business wear, of Japanese mothers-in-law nagging them to stop working as it's "dangerous to the baby", and of being scolded by strangers for riding trains during rush hour.

My own job ended this spring (nothing to do with my pregnancy, my contract ended) so unfortunately I don't have much first-hand experience with attitudes towards pregnancy in the workplace. But I do have a few private classes and they ended sooner than I would have liked. My students (all older ladies) decided at the end of my second trimester that teaching them must be too much of a burden for me and thus ended their classes. This after months of them constantly asking if I was really OK to keep teaching and warning me to be careful on the stairs, be careful on the bus, be careful in this heat, be careful at night, etc. These women definitely represent an older generation, but I think their attitude is still fairly typical. Last year I had a private student who quit both her job and our classes due to pregnancy- when she was just six weeks along! To be fair she may have had a good reason that she didn't feel like discussing (like severe morning sickness or a high-risk pregnancy) but the reason she gave for quitting was that she wanted to concentrate on her pregnancy. She may be an extreme example, but it's so rare to see a pregnant working woman in Japan that it's clear that working during pregnancy is still frowned upon.

Bicycles

I'd heard about this one ages ago, but had kind of assumed it was an old-fashioned or rural thing and wouldn't be enforced here in Tokyo in this day and age. But no: cycling while pregnant is officially banned in Japan. Pregnancy resources say no bicycling. My midwife says no bicycling. The old lady behind the counter of a local sushi take-out scolded me for bicycling. The only reason my doctor hasn't warned me of the dangers of bicycling is because he doesn't say anything at all.

As far as I can tell the supposed danger lies in a combination the risk of harming the fetus in case of a fall, and the overly intense physical strain involved in operating a bike. Of course, once the baby is outside that dangerous womb bicycling is just fine: stick a baby seat on a bike and you're good to go. Everyone who has lived in Japan has a story about an outrageous baby-on-a-bike sighting. My personal best was a bike with two baby seats, with baby in the front, a toddler in the back and neither wearing helmets. There were plastic bags full of groceries dangling from both handles of bike, and the mom was riding one-handed while holding an umbrella over herself and the baby (the toddler had a little umbrella of his own). Yes, it was raining, and she was riding on the road (not her fault really as sidewalks are not plentiful here). I'm the only person who even turned my head at the spectacle, but had she been pregnant she would have been in trouble.

Sports

In North America there are a few sports that a pregnant woman absolutely can't do: scuba diving, contact martial arts, skiing and the like. Beyond that, it's left up to the judgment and good sense of the expecting woman and her medical practitioners. In Japan the list of prohibited sports is much longer and has no room for the common sense of the pregnant woman in question. The list may be so restrictive that it includes everything that doesn't involve an official maternity class. There seems to be a lingering belief that physical exertion of any kind is potentially dangerous, and pregnant women are discouraged or even banned from participating in anything more strenuous than walking. Even walking seems to be frowned upon by the older generation: my middle-aged students were very surprised to learn that my midwife ordered me to go for daily walks and told me that in their day they were encouraged to stay home and let their mothers-in-law do the shopping and errands.

These days walking is acceptable and even encouraged, but other light forms of exercise can be hard to do as many gyms, pools and classes ban pregnant women outright. (Luckily the city-run pools in my area allow pregnant women, but judging from the reaction we got when we called to ask about the rules, and from the stares I get from the other swimmers when I go to the pool, I am the first pregnant swimmer anyone has ever seen.) Women who want to keep fit during pregnancy are advised to join a maternity exercise class, most often maternity swimming or maternity yoga (there are also maternity aerobics and maternity pilates classes, but they're pretty rare). I would actually have loved to have tried either, but it seems that the "maternity" prefix allows gyms and studios to charge double, and I couldn't afford it.

My midwife is rather enlightened when it comes to exercise (as long as it doesn't involve two wheels) and now that I'm at the end of my pregnancy she has instructed me to walk for at least two hours a day. She also wants me going up and down stairs as much as possible (which horrifies my older students, who believe there's no bigger danger to a fetus than a flight of stairs) and recommends climbing one of the smaller mountains in the Tokyo area like Takao-san (I did hike Takao-san in my first trimester and it was so tough that I can't even imagine trying it at this point). Yet I am only grudgingly allowed to go swimming, because of the risk of chilling my uterus. Which brings me to the most frustratingly weird restriction of all:

Getting Cold

This category of things to avoid is a huge one, but held together by two uniquely Japanese theories: that certain substances and activities can cool the body, and that a cool body is dangerous for a fetus. I was familiar with the Japanese obsession with body temperature before my pregnancy, and knew that there was a strong belief that keeping the midsection covered and warm was of utmost importance. I'd even bought into it a little, wearing a haramaki (stomach wrap) to bed in the winter (I swear nothing cures my cold feet like a haramaki, as odd as that sounds). But this fear of the cold is brought to new heights of ridiculousness during pregnancy.

The thinking goes that a developing fetus needs to keep warm, which seems sensible enough. Unfortunately, the Japanese believe that a woman's body is incapable of regulating its own temperature and keeping a baby safe, so an expecting women must take all sorts of precautions against chilling her womb. Never mind that the baby is protected from the cold by several layers: skin, fat, muscle, uterine wall and amniotic fluid. Never mind that the human body is designed to direct heat to the internal organs, and that a woman's body is especially good at keeping the uterus warm. Never mind that it's summer (never mind even that this summer is the hottest on record and hundreds of people are dying of heatstroke). Never mind that women all over the world, in all kinds of climates, are capable of safely bearing children without special precautions other than dressing sensibly. Nope, pregnant women in Japan need all the help they can get keeping their unborn babies warm.

The first like of defense is to wear a sarashi, haraobi, haramaki, girdle, or other warm cover over the uterus. The next, for women who believe such things (and admittedly not all Japanese women do), is to keep the temperature-related tsubo (meridian points) warm. These points are at the back of the neck and the ankles, so a high-necked top or scarf and socks or legwarmers must always be worn. Other physically direct ways to stay warm are nightly hot baths (which most Japanese take anyway) and the use of heavy blankets at night. This is all in direct contrast to western wisdom, which says to avoid baths and overly warm clothing and bedding while pregnant as they bring a risk of overheating the fetus.

Actively avoiding getting cold is just as important as keeping warm, so pregnant women are advised to keep the air conditioning set high (or shun it altogether), never drink cold drinks or eat ice cream, and be very careful when getting out of that nightly bath to avoid cooling down too fast- you have to dry off quickly, put on warm pajamas (don't forget the haraobi and socks!) and always, always, always use a hair dryer. Swimming, if it must be done, is allowed only in heated pools (maternity swimming classes are held in pools with a temperature of at least 30C). Never swim in the ocean, unless you're on vacation in Hawaii or Okinawa, and definitely stay out of lakes and rivers.

But the strangest way of keeping the baby warm is not through directly physical means, but through food: namely by eating foods that have warming properties and avoiding those that are cooling. This practice seems to have its roots in Chinese medicine and is certainly not followed by all pregnant women in Japan, but most midwives are major believers in the miraculous temperature-changing powers of food and mine is probably the biggest believer of all.

It's not as simple as eating hot food to keep warm (although temperature is important): foods are actually divided into categories of those with warming properties and those with cooling properties. Some sources add a neutral category as well, and most agree that foods generally keep their heating or cooling properties no matter how they're prepared. The lists vary quite a bit depending on the source (it's not like there's any scientific research to refer to, after all) and one expert may contradict another, so the following lists might not match what you've heard. But according to my midwife, warming foods are carrots, ginger and most root vegetables; asparagus; kabocha squash; onions and garlic; eggs; and meat, especially liver. Cooling foods include all fruit (most other sources only prohibit certain fruit, usually tropical varieties); milk and all dairy products except hard cheese; eggplants, tomatoes, cucumbers; raw vegetables in general; and spicy food.

Needless to say I think this is all ridiculous, but I also think it's dangerous: an expecting mother needs to nurture her baby and keep herself comfortable, and prohibiting entire categories of food places her health at risk and adds unnecessary burdens. Completely avoiding dairy, for example, depletes a woman's body of calcium at a time when she needs it the most (the leafy greens and tiny, bone-in fish recommended in Japan for calcium would need to be consumed in such high quantities that there would be little place at the table for any other food). And banning many of the foods that pregnant women seem to crave the most (like fruit and spicy food) just makes a difficult time even more difficult, especially if morning sickness is a factor.

In Conclusion

There are many other things I've heard pregnant women can't do in Japan, such as flying, watching sad or scary movies and TV shows, using seatbelts, consuming any amount of caffeine, and taking any kind of medicine. But these are ignored, thank goodness, by enough women here that they're not quite universal rules. Plus I've heard the same things back in Canada. In fact, there are probably just as many silly rules back home, and I'm just lucky to be spared hearing about them.

But I get the impression that the things a western woman has to avoid during pregnancy are mostly environmentally based: there seems to be a fear of toxins in the environment invading a woman's body and endangering her baby (this post from Wide Lawns and Narrow Minds offers a nice summary of all the ridiculous things that are said to be dangerous during pregnancy in North America). Whereas here in Japan the fear seems to be of the pregnant woman herself. I detect a subtle mistrust of a woman's body, a belief that the uterus is not fit to nurture a baby by itself and needs outside help. There is no appreciation of the amazing way evolution has designed our reproductive systems to shelter and foster a new life, and rather than being thought of as the protective organ that it is, the womb is thought to need protection. Even worse, women themselves aren't trusted to make their own decisions. She can't choose how to exercise, but must pay to take a maternity class so a professional can tell her what to do. She may crave an ice-cold drink on a hot day, but her midwife knows better. She may need to ride a bike to catch her train, but will pass an old lady along the way who will tell her she shouldn't.

It's this attitude that makes me reject a lot of Japanese pregnancy wisdom. Although I love the position I'm in, observing how two cultures treat pregnancy and being able to pick and choose the practices from each that make the most sense, I definitely lean towards a western view of pregnancy. I think my body is perfectly designed to carry my baby and trust myself to do what's best for both of us.

Cultural Differences: Diet

One of the things that has surprised me the most about pregnancy in Japan is the lack of dietary guidelines for expectant mothers. This is particularly surprising given that the Japanese place a very high value on a healthy diet, and anyone who has spent a little time in Japan will have noticed that people here are obsessed with food and nutrition. But when it comes to pregnancy, there just don't seem to be any official guidelines about nutrition and food safety.

In a way I find this refreshing, as I think the North American guidelines are too restrictive. Pregnancy can be hard enough to endure without a long list of things that you can't eat, and being told that the foods you love are suddenly off-limits is not only stressful, but potentially harmful. The western fear of seafood is especially worrisome, as fish is one of the best things to eat during pregnancy. Yet the tiny (and largely theoretical) risk of food poisoning from raw fish means pregnant women back home completely avoid sushi and sashimi, which is ridiculous. There's a lot I could say on the subject, but this New York Times article does it better than I could. For those not familiar with this western fear of sushi, this article and recipe sums the stupidity up perfectly: the author is so worried about the supposed risks of eating raw fish that she created a "safe" sushi recipe which features mayonnaise and imitation crab meat. Never mind that mayo is far more likely to cause food poisoning than (properly handled) raw fish, or that imitation crab meat is a potential carrier of listeria. And then there's mercury, which is indeed something a pregnant woman should limit her exposure to. But if what I read online is true, a lot of women are scared into giving up all fish rather than just cutting down their consumption of species that are high in mercury, which is a shame.

So I love that in Japan I'm free to eat sushi and sashimi, especially since sushi was one of the only things I could eat during my first trimester. I could also, if I wanted to, feast daily on blue cheese, prosciutto and swordfish without anyone getting on my case (although I do avoid those foods as listeriosis and mercury poisoning are things worth taking seriously).

This isn't to say that pregnant women in Japan don't receive any kind of advice about their diets though. It's just that the advice they get will vary widely depending on who's giving it and will seldom be based on any kind of scientific evidence or widely agreed-upon rules. One midwife may caution against eating sweets; a pregnancy magazine will tell its readers to eat lots of seaweed; a mother or mother-in-law will tell her daughter to avoid all raw food. My midwife has given a very lengthy list of foods I should avoid, which includes all fruit, all dairy, raw vegetables, beef, spicy food, sweets, and mugicha (barley tea, normally a staple for pregnant women). My doctor has given no advice at all. My Japanese pregnancy books and magazines vary widely in their advice, with one cautioning, for example, against eating too much fruit and another saying that if fruit is all you can keep down, then that's what you should eat.

So without a universal set of guidelines, an expectant mother in Japan is free to eat things that would horrify a pregnant North American woman while avoiding an arbitrary set of foods that other pregnant women around the world happily consume. And she very likely won't be taking a prenatal supplement, as whoever is counseling her will urge her to fulfill her nutritional requirements through food alone.

And here is where I think North America is doing a better job. Everybody back home knows about the importance of getting enough of certain nutrients like folic acid and calcium during pregnancy, and many women begin prenatal supplements even before conceiving. Here in Japan not a single doctor, midwife or nurse has talked about folic acid or calcium or even mentioned prenatal supplements. My midwife did urge me to get plenty of protein and iron, but those were the only specific nutrients she mentioned. Likewise, nobody has mentioned the dangers of mercury or listeria. Part of this is that medical practitioners in Japan, especially doctors, just don't give out a lot of advice of any kind, so women get their information elsewhere. And indeed, most pregnancy books and magazines do mention nutrition. Awareness of folic acid has grown in recent years, and although most women still don't take supplements (and those who do start relatively late in their pregnancies) they will often try to get enough folate through diet alone, as recommended in their pregnancy books. A few pregnancy resources also mention mercury in fish, and the Japanese government has recently started setting guidelines outlining exactly how much of each type of high mercury fish is allowable. But few women even know about these guidelines, and awareness of mercury in fish remains shockingly low here (the mercury issue is very well covered in this stippy.com post).

There is one thing that nearly everyone in Japan seems to know about and agree upon though: weight gain. Specifically, it is widely agreed that the less weight gained, the better. A very modest weight gain has been the preference here for centuries, largely because the less one gains the smaller the baby will be, and a smaller baby makes for an easier delivery. This probably made a certain amount of sense before the introduction of modern medicine, when maternal and infant mortality rates were high. But these days the preference for small babies remains, likely for a few reasons.

The easy delivery reason still stands, perhaps partly because epidurals (or any kind of pain relief) are very rarely used, and giving birth naturally to a large baby is understandably a scary prospect. Vanity is another reason, as of course the less a woman gains during pregnancy the faster she can return to her pre-pregnancy body (and Japanese women tend to be very eager to make that return, often donning constricting corsets and hip belts before they even leave the hospital). There are also good medical reasons for not gaining too much weight, as overweight mothers and their babies are prone to a whole host of complications (in fact, America's obesity rate is thought to be the main factor in that country's shockingly high maternal mortality rate). But there is a big difference between "too much weight" in the minds of Japanese health workers and those in the west, and the Japanese preference is still a shockingly small weight gain. In my case, my doctor has instructed me not to gain more than eight kilograms (17.6 pounds), which is far less than the 25 to 35 pounds (about 11 to 16 kilograms) that would be recommended for me back in Canada. That's the same 8 kilograms that he (and most health practitioners) recommends to all of his patients, regardless of their height, body type, and pre-pregnancy weight. So at 178 cm (5'10") I'm expected to gain the same amount of weight that a tiny Japanese woman would.

My midwifery clinic (I go to both a regular doctor and a midwife) is a little more reasonable, with the head midwife urging me to gain at least 10 kilograms and preferably 12 (22 and 26 pounds, respectively). Of course, I see a different midwife at each visit and they all have different ideas, and one of them berated me for gaining too quickly and urged me to keep a food diary and bring it in on the next visit so she could find out what was "wrong" with my diet. Luckily I haven't seen her since and the other midwives are fine with the fact that I've already gained 13 kilograms. Likewise my doctor, after one mild caution, hasn't mentioned my weight in months. Which is lucky, as it's not unusual for health practitioners here to berate their patients mercilessly about their weight gain.

Which leads me to another difference: there is no concept here of "eating for two". I've never quite understood the idea actually, since that second person is so tiny it really doesn't require that much extra food. As much as I dislike the Japanese preference for a very low weight gain, in some ways it's more sensible than the way a pregnancy is treated like a nine-month all-you-can-eat buffet in the west. If not gaining enough weight truly put infants in danger then Japan would have a higher infant mortality rate than that of countries where women are encouraged to gain lots, but it doesn't (in fact Japan consistently has one of the lowest in the world, far lower than Canada or the US, for example). And women in any country who are unable to gain weight due to severe morning sickness still manage to give birth to healthy babies: it's what our bodies are designed to do. So although I never intended to stick to my doctor-mandated eight kilogram weight gain, I certainly don't think I need to gain 35 pounds, and it's nice that my husband, friends and others around me aren't constantly telling me to "eat for two".

All in all, it's hard to say if pregnant women are better served by the strict dietary rules and permissive weight gain of North America, or the lack of nutritional guidelines and strictly enforced low weight gain of Japan. I guess the best thing would be for women everywhere to do their own research and decide for themselves what to eat and how much weight to gain. Here's hoping that all women can access the resources they need to make those decisions.

Weekend in Uchibo

We took advantage of a recent semi-long weekend (Hideaki works in weekly shifts, so when a day shift ends on a Friday and a night shift starts on a Monday it's an almost-long weekend) and had ourselves a mini vacation. We expect this will be the last trip with just the two of us for a very, very long time so wanted to make it special, but time and budget constraints meant we had to give up our grand plans for Okinawa and settle for something a little closer. So we rented a car and drove to Chiba prefecture's Bousou Hantou (Boso Peninsula) for a few days of fun in the sun.

I had packed a lunch that we were hoping to eat at on the beach if we made really good time, or at least at a rest area along the way. But we hit traffic as soon as we got on the highway and with the car's GPS telling us we'd be on the road for seven more hours we ended up eating in the car. Inside a tiny rental car on a crowded Japanese highway is not the most scenic of places for a picnic, but it was kind of fun, and certainly gave us something to do in the gridlock. Of course as soon as we finished the traffic cleared up and the trip took three hours rather than seven, but eating on the run did save us a bit of time so it wasn't the end of the world.
 

 

We took the fast way, which involves driving down to Kawasaki in Kanagawa Prefecture and crossing Tokyo Bay on the Aqualine, a cool tunnel that goes deep under the water and emerges halfway across the bay as a bridge. You hit land at Kisarazu, Chiba, and save yourself at least an hour (much more with bad traffic) compared to driving around the bay. The picture above was taken on the way back and shows the bridge about to disappear under the tunnel.

I always love the feeling of leaving ugly, industrial Kawasaki, above, and emerging to the greenery of rural Chiba, below. Actually Kisarazu is itself an ugly, industrial city, but the route we usually take bypasses much of the unsightliness so it really is quite a dramatic change or scenery.

Once you go a bit south of Kisarazu, Uchibo (the inner coast of the Boso Peninsula along Tokyo Bay) is lined with numerous beaches, most of them not very remarkable. We stopped at one in Tomiura called Namuyakita Kaisuiyokujo (Namuyakita Beach), chosen for its lack of umi no ie (beach huts) and other facilities. It wasn't the most beautiful beach ever, but as we'd hoped it was nearly deserted and we had a wide stretch of sand and water to ourselves. So after a few attempts at sandcastles we gave up (wrong kind of sand) and jumped into the water for a swim.

This was the first time I'd been in any body of water bigger than a bathtub since I got pregnant, and man did it ever feel good. It was much harder to float with a full uterus (I'd hoped my tummy would stick out way more in the picture above, but my middle kept sinking) and couldn't do much real swimming, but just being in the water was heavenly.

No, this wasn't Okinawa, but it wasn't bad.

Even Hideaki, who normally considers a water temperature anywhere below 30C to be unswimmable, enjoyed  the water.

When the sand fleas got to be too much (we'd timed the trip carefully to avoid the annual mid-August arrival of the jellyfish, but hadn't counted on stinging sand fleas) we drove to a michi no eki (a non-highway rest area, a smaller, quainter version of the big highway service areas) in Tomiura. Called Biwa Kurabu, its shops and cafeteria were dedicated to products made with the locally famous fruit, biwa (loquat).

So we cooled down with a biwa ice cream, took some pictures of the giant biwa sculpture out front, and planned our next move.

And our next move was dinner at Kanaya, a seafood restaurant in Futtsu. I'd chosen it from an online search because it was cheap and had outdoor seating with a view, and although it turned out to be a bit touristy it did deliver on the view.

We started with anago (sea eel) tempura, Tokyo Bay and the Futtsu area in particular being known for its eel. It was lighter, milder and less oily than any anago I've had before, and actually reminded me of fish & chips.

Next we tried kajimejiru, a soup made with miso and the local kajime seaweed. Kajime is one of those slimy, sticky foods, like okra, that you either love or hate, and we loved it.

I finished off with the zeitaku namerodon teishoku, a dinner set with namero (chopped sashimi flavoured with miso, ginger, long onion and a quail's egg yolk) over rice, fried and marinated smelt, miso soup with clams and pickles. The namero was a mix of four or five kinds of local fish, which I think included tai (bream), kinmedai (alphonsino), aji (horse mackerel) and medai (butter fish)

Unfortunately clouds prevented us from watching the sun finish setting over Kanagawa on the other side of the bay, but the sky had no shortage of shows for us that night- we were treated to a full moon and a local fireworks show. The fireworks were quite spectacular, or at least the ones I saw were- we found a spot on a pier next to a large group of local fishermen and their families, and were first befriended by the fishermen, who brought us cans of beer and a big plate of yakiniku (grilled beef), then by their daughters. These two little girls were fascinated by my foreignness and full of questions, and every single thing that I told them ("Indo" is "India" in English; we came all the way from Tokyo; yes, it's possible for a Canadian to marry a Japanese) completely blew their minds. Living in in the city it's been a long time to get that kind of reaction from Japanese kids, but they were really cute and polite (I had heard them whispering about us long before they approached us, and they actually used the respectful term "gaikokujin" instead of the usual word for foreigner, "gaijin") so I didn't mind their questions at all. I would have liked to have seen more fireworks though!

We stayed at a love hotel in Kisarazu, which sounds naughty but is actually quite practical- love hotels are easy to find, don't require reservations, come with tonnes of amenities, and are far cheaper than regular hotels or inns. Plus: jacuzzis! This place was rare in that not only were its windows not blacked out, it actually had a balcony. The night view was kind of pretty, with airplanes landing and taking off at Haneda airport in the distance, boat lights in the bay, and a rainbow light show on the weird bridge to nowhere seen in the picture above, taken the next morning.

The next day started with breakfast at McDonalds, and then we drove back down to Tomiura to Haraoka Kaisuiyokujo (Haraoka Beach), chosen for its promise of decent snorkeling from an online search. That's the last time I trust a stranger's definition of "decent snorkeling", as there was absolutely nothing to see underwater, but it turned out to be a really nice beach with an endless shallow area, a few wide sandbars, and the finest sand I've seen in Japan. Perfect conditions for sandcastle making.

We made a fairly impressive castle on one of the sandbars, and Hide went a bit crazy and took about seventy thousand pictures of it. Here are a select few:

This beach also had sand fleas, so after a short swim we drove down to Tateyama to Okinoshima, a former island now connected to land by a sandbar. The beach was terribly crowded and we barely found seats in one of the umi no ie, where we had overpriced yakisoba (fried noodles) and other snacks for lunch.

We escaped the packed beach to the island, which had a few snorkeling spots that were blessedly empty of people. It wasn't great snorkeling but we did see some neat fish and got lots of swimming in. This was only Hideaki's second time snorkeling but he already had the hang of it, and I was the one being all nervous and tired (a big pregnant belly will do that).

All tired out, we drove back up to Futtsu to Shinmaiko Kaisuiyokujo (Shinmaiko Beach) to check into our minshuku (family-run inn), Kinkaitei, shown above. We'd stumbled across this place on a trip a few years ago and really liked the food and the funky, laid-back atmosphere, so had vowed to come back some day, and here we were.

Minshuku are always Japanese style, with tatami mats on the floors, spare furnishings, and a closet full of futons and bedding that you set up yourself. Our room was typical, but it came with a little balcony (accessed by climbing out the window) with a loveseat, mini hammock, and view of the beach.

Dinner was served on the patio as the sun was setting, and although the clouds again prevented a spectacular display we could hardly complain, as the view was still lovely and the food fantastic. And plentiful- I kept taking pictures, thinking all the food had been served, and then more dishes would arrive.

Our dinner, front row from the left: rice; grilled local fish; miso soup. Middle row: vinegared octopus and wakame seaweed; deep-fried eggplant stuffed with pork; kabocha no soboroni (kabocha squash simmered with ground chicken). Back row: nukazuke (rice bran pickles) of cucumber and shiro-uri (Japanese pickling melon); assorted sashimi.

I forgot to take notes so don't remember what kind of fish it was, except that the second from left is kinmedai (alphonsino) and there were two other varieties of tai (bream). It was all delicious, especially the kinmedai, which unfortunately I could only have a little of as its fairly high in mercury and I'd just had some the night before. Lucky for Hide.

I finished with a banana crepe (Hide had locally made vanilla ice cream) and we sat enjoying the view, then went out for a night time walk on the beach.

The next morning I woke up bright and early (I don't know if it's a pregnancy thing or what, but these days I'm lucky if I sleep past 5:30) and left Hide sleeping while I went for another walk on the beach. Above you can see Futtsu's famous Tokyo Wan Kannon (Tokyo Bay Bodhisattva), one of the largest Buddhist statues in Japan. I also took a swim, ignoring the sign that prohibited swimming before 8:30 (nobody was awake to report me).

I can still see my feet! Or at least my toes.

Breakfast was on the patio again, and again the dishes kept coming and coming. Clockwise from left: rice; goya (mitter melon) dressed with tuna; aji no himono (partly dried and grilled horse mackerel); miso soup with eggplant and myoga (Japanese ginger bud); nukazuke of cucumbers, shiro-uri and umeboshi (salted ume plums); nori seaweed sheets and soy sauce (to eat with rice); fried egg with salad; and hijiki seaweed simmered with soybeans and vegetables.

Breakfast kept us too full for another swim, so we hung out on another patio, trying out the hammocks and comfy seats and staring at the beach until it was time to checkout. We drove home in time for Hide to have a quick nap before heading to work, thus ending our last trip as a couple. Hopefully not our last vacation ever though- we plan on having the portable kind of baby.

See more pictures from the trip here. 

Cultural Differences: Pregnancy information

This is the cover of the June issue of Ninsugu, a popular Japanese pregnancy magazine. The cluttered layout is typical of pregnancy magazines here (and Japanese magazines in general), as is the very young, obviously not pregnant (and possibly not even capable of conceiving) foreign model. I didn't buy this issue, as I'd bought the previous one and found it completely useless. At the time I'd been really hoping for some good Japanese information on pregnancy to compare with the very good information I have access to in English. Since I wasn't getting much from my doctor and midwife and couldn't find anything useful online I figured a magazine might help, but it turns out that the one I bought was a big piece of garbage and that useful information on pregnancy in Japan is quite hard to come by.

It's bad enough that much of the pregnancy advice and information in Japan is completely different from western advice. What Hideaki and I find really frustrating though is the relative lack of official health guidelines or common-sense, universally agreed-upon information and advice during pregnancy. I have loads of information available to me in English: my own government, like those of most developed nations, sets guidelines for pregnant women. So do countless official medical associations and private and public organizations. Tonnes of books, magazines and websites are out there, and most of their advice is strikingly similar and based on the latest science. And of course there are certain things that everyone back home knows and takes for granted, without having to consult a book or website (like don't smoke and drink during pregnancy, abstain from fish high in mercury, avoid overheating yourself with hot baths and saunas, eat well, and so on).

Here in Japan, however, there doesn't seem to be any official organization that offers pregnancy advice (or if there is, nobody I know has heard of it). Although there are a few common sense sort of things that everyone knows, some of which are the same as back home (no smoking and drinking), and a few more that are unique to Japan (avoid chilling yourself, stay off your bike), there don't seem to be as many universally known rules. Instead, the advice and information a woman receives during her pregnancy will almost completely depend on who or what she consults.

Google "pregnancy" in English and tonnes of informative, useful websites pop up. Google it in Japanese and you get a mishmash of awful, hard-to-navigate sites (to be fair most Japanese websites are awful and hard to navigate though), many sponsored by private companies with commercial interests. The information they offer will vary widely and depend on who is paying for the site. When searching for something more specific you will likely be directed to a question-and-answer type of website, where the advice will of course be all over the place. Admittedly the same thing happens when searching the internet in English, but at least you'll have a pick of several more official sites before you are reduced to reading Yahoo Answers.

Japanese books and magazines are little better, mostly featuring cutesy cartoons relaying the most basic information, tonnes of profiles and interviews of real mothers and mothers-to-be that reveal what they did during pregnancy, and pages and pages of ads (in fact some pregnancy magazines are just catalogues with a small editorial section at the front). And virtually all pregnancy publications are completely aimed at mothers, with no information whatsoever for fathers- something Hideaki finds really annoying.

The cartoons and interviews make the magazines and books cuter, easier to read, and more accessible and reassuring, and this in itself is not necessarily a bad thing. But for those who want real information, these publications can be quite useless. For example, a pregnancy magazine I bought had an article called "My Pregnancy Rules" (the first two pages are shown above) and showed pictures of real moms (mixed in with models pretending to be pregnant and posing cutely) with their tips for how to deal with the various challenges of pregnancy. These moms offered help with stuff like "keeping warm", "giving up caffeine", "preventing constipation with wheat grass juice", by sharing their personal experiences and advice. But there was no actual medical information offered along with this advice. For example, nowhere in the article did it say exactly why the woman wanted to quit caffeine, or if the reader should follow her example. That caffeine is bad and that everyone should quit it was definitely implied though. Some of the tips were for things that are unquestionably good, like getting enough folic acid and quitting smoking. But for a woman with no other source of information, wading through all of the tips to find real, useful, science-based advice would be difficult indeed, and she would be left with the impression that drinking wheat grass juice and wearing socks at all times is just as important as giving up cigarettes and alcohol.

Books aren't much better, and the few that aren't filled with cartoons are really hard to read, with endless blocks of text and no pictures. I mean, there aren't any books that offer good information in an easy-to-read format. There's no "What to Expect When You're Expecting". The books also tend to reflect the author or editor's personal views or commercial interests rather than relaying established medical information (the wackiest piece of info I've read in a Japanese pregnancy book so far: "Yes, it's OK to have sex while pregnant, but use a condom"). Of course, I'm not completely literate in Japanese and haven't done an extensive search of pregnancy books (I gave up in disgust early on), so I could be missing something, but I suspect not. Stippy.com has an interesting post about Japanese pregnancy books, and I completely agree with the author's assessment.

So if there is little published information out there, can't Japanese women just get advice from their doctors or midwives? Maybe a few can, but most doctors here tend to offer little information and some actually get annoyed by questions, and midwives tend to be long on traditional wisdom and old wives' tales and and short on actual medical knowledge. My own doctor, luckily, is happy to answer whatever questions I ask, but gives no unsolicited advice (except for warnings not to gain too much weight, of course). He hasn't mentioned anything about getting enough nutrients like folic acid or calcium, for example, or avoiding mercury. My midwife (I go to both a doctor's office and midwifery clinic) does offer plenty of advice but much of it is suspect: keeping with the nutrition example, she has advised me to get plenty protein (but not beef!) and iron without mentioning any of the other important nutrients, and has a long, long list of "cooling" foods to avoid, including all fruit and dairy products.

So from what I can see, most Japanese women get most of their pregnancy advice from their friends and family, and when they need something more turn to magazines and books. There might be some good publications out there, but I haven't come across them yet (please comment if you've found one). I'll stick with my What to Expect When You're Expecting, thank you very much.

Now, just for fun, here are some pages from my copy of Ninsugu:

A typical use of cartoons in an article about budgeting.

A guide to undergarments in the three trimesters and after birth. I especially like the alarmed look on face of the second trimester lady as she suddenly notices the size of her belly (see this larger picture for a better look). Thank goodness she can buy gigantic underwear and girdles to cover that thing up!

Here's a guide to the "Perfect Maternity Wedding". Not that there's anything wrong with getting married while pregnant, but I find it hilarious that dekichatta kekkon (shotgun weddings) are now so common that pregnant brides have become a major demographic worthy of magazine articles and ads.

This is an illustrated article about what to expect at your first visit to the ob/gyn. Amazingly, most Japanese women never see a gynecologist until they are pregnant (or trying to get pregnant), so this could actually be quite a useful guide.

Also useful is this picture of a Japanese gynecological exam chair, as it lets me show you the special torture I go through at every doctor visit. As you can see in the picture at top, you start off in what seems like a regular chair, and it feels like you're just sitting normally (except that you are not wearing pants). Then the nurse presses a button, which causes four things to happen simultaneously: The entire chair will rise, the seat back will recline, the seat where your butt was will drop away, and the leg holders that were under your knees will lift and separate. One minute you were sitting comfortably, and suddenly there you are, trapped on your back with your legs up in the air and wide open, and your ass dangling at eye level. It's just awful, and makes me dread every visit.

See the little cartoon uterus at the bottom of the panel? She's saying, in that chipper yet reassuring cartoon uterus way, that this is the same chair you'll be giving birth in. Now, perhaps some idiot out there would find ytat reassuring, but that's one piece of information that I did not want to know.

Pregnancy in Japan: Cultural Differences

I've managed to survive my fourteen years in Japan without experiencing much culture shock. That doesn't mean I haven't faced cultural differences: there have been many, many of those, some of them huge, some of them trifling, and most of them interesting opportunities for learning something new. I thought I'd mostly gotten used to things though, and that there was little left for me to learn. But being pregnant has shown me that Japan has plenty of surprises left for me, and I think I might be going through a bit of culture shock, or at least culture surprise.

One early surprise was the lack of pregnancy euphemisms in Japanese. A few posts back I listed a bunch of ways to say "I'm pregnant" in English, and although I thought the list rather impressive I did manage to miss a few (as pointed out in the comments- it turns out there are expressions I've never even heard of, like "up the duff"). So the list was probably just a small sample of what's available in English, but in Japanese there's pretty much just one way to say it.

First, a mini language lesson: ninshin is "pregnancy" in Japanese, and with the addition of a verb or other word becomes "I'm pregnant" (or "she's pregnant") as in ninshin shiteiru, ninshin chuu, or ninshin desu. Those three ways really count as one in my book as they are all just variations of ninshin.

There are a few other ways to say it: a doctor who is reporting that your pregnancy test was positive might say omedeta desu yo or some variation (omedeta roughly translating as "congratulations"). It is a very polite expression and used more to announce another's pregnancy rather than identify yourself as pregnant. There is also the slang word dekichatta (very roughly translated as "I/we did it", with a strong "oops!" nuance), most often heard in the expression dekichatta kekkon (shotgun wedding). It is also used more for the initial pregnancy announcement and is always used in a slight joking or negative way. There may be other slang terms, but they would be used only within specific groups of people and I've certainly never heard them, and even if I had I wouldn't dare use them as Japanese slang evolves so rapidly that it would probably be out of date by the time I managed to remember it.

So because the above two expressions are rather limited in use, everyone just sticks with ninshin. On one hand it's kind of cool that the Japanese don't see any need to pussyfoot around the subject and are fine to just come right out and say it, unlike us prudish English speakers who often find it necessary to use an idiom. But at the same time this lack of vocabulary fits with the dearth of Japanese slang words, especially when it comes to body parts and bodily functions, which is kind of sad (compare the number of terms in English and Japanese for "sex" for example, or "piss", or "breasts", and you'll see what I mean). It really makes me appreciate the rich vocabulary of the English language.

Another cultural difference I discovered early on is that pregnancy is counted differently here. Japanese women are pregnant for ten months, not nine, and I just couldn't wrap my head around that until it was explained to me that those ten months are lunar months. Which means that each month lasts exactly four weeks, and four times ten equals forty: the exact number of weeks a woman is pregnant (by any country's reckoning). It actually makes a lot of sense.

With the western way of counting a pregnancy some months have four weeks and some have five weeks and there is no clear agreement: one baby book may say that the fifth month of pregnancy lasts from the 17th week to the 20th, others might say from the 17th to the 21st, others the 18th to the 21st. This also messes up the trimesters, with few sources agreeing on when each trimester ends and the next begins. But there is no confusion in Japan: the fifth month of pregnancy (ninshin gokagetsume), for example, is from week 16 to 19, and everyone knows it. The first trimester (ninshin shoki) lasts for the first four months, the second trimester (ninshin chuuki) the fifth to seventh months, and the third trimester (ninshin kouki) the eighth to tenth. Simple, right? The only confusion is that it's kind of hard to tell what month you are in just by looking at a calendar, as calendar months are different from lunar months.

One problem: although the Japanese counting system itself is not difficult, using it at the same time as the western system is terribly confusing. Especially for a math-challenged person like me. I actually had to create a chart to try to match up the weeks, so I'd be able to see at a glance where I was in counting system (the picture at the top of the post is my first attempt at a chart) So back in Canada I'd be eight months pregnant, but here in Japan I'm already in my ninth month. This was actually important at one point before I figured out the different systems and I went around saying I was four months pregnant, as per the western system.

Which brings us to cultural difference number three: the Japanese place a huge importance on the "danger" of the first four months, or first trimester, and it is a big, big event to pass safely on to the fifth month. Early in my pregnancy people kept asking me how far along I was, and since I hadn't reached the "safe zone" of five months would look all worried and tell me to be careful. I found this kind of ridiculous and just assumed this obsession with the fifth month was a silly old Japanese superstition, since where I'm from it's the fourth month that brings you into the safety zone (and people don't really obsess about the perils of the first trimester anyway). But I'd just not been calculating properly, and it turns out that this "safe" fifth month roughly corresponds to the beginning of the second trimester on the western schedule (and the risk of miscarriage does indeed go down in the second trimester). So it was a huge relief to my friends and acquaintances when I announced (a few weeks late, thanks to my faulty reckoning) that I was in my fifth month.

Thankfully healthcare professionals in Japan count pregnancy in weeks, just like everywhere else in the world, and there is never any confusion if I stick to weeks. Except that a Japanese pregnancy starts off at week 0 and a western pregnancy apparently starts at week 1. I think.

Is your head spinning too?

Pregnancy in Japan Part One: Resources

As mentioned in my previous post, I'd like to write a little bit about pregnancy and childbirth in Japan. I don't think I'll get around to posting as much as I'd like though, so I thought I'd start off with a list of the information and resources that are already available. You know, let others do my work for me. I hope it's useful for expecting parents in Japan (and for anyone who just has a general interest in pregnancy and childbirth in Japan, if you skip the  first few sections and scroll down to the Articles and Blogs sections you might find some interesting reading).

The following list may not be complete, so if there is anything I've missed please let me know and I'll add it. You'll notice that I haven't included a list of hospitals and birth clinics, and that's because I'm saving that for a separate post. This list is admittedly biased, with much of the information focused on mothers, geared towards English speakers, and specific to Tokyo, so again, if you know of any resources that would be good for dads, non English speakers, and those living other parts of Japan, then I'd love to hear from you.

Childbirth and breastfeeding education:

Childbirth Education Centre (CEC) offers childbirth, choosing a caregiver, and parenting classes by Brett Iimura, a Tokyo-based ICEA certified instructor. Hideaki and I will be taking her childbirth class next month.

Blue Sky, founded by lactation consultant Iona McNab, offered breastfeeding workshops, child and baby first aid training, and other services for new and expectant parents. Sadly McNab has relocated to Australia but the website remains as a useful resource and she continues to offer consultations via Skype.

Wisdom Childbirth's Allison Evans teaches Hypnobirthing, a childbirth technique that uses hypnosis to reduce pain and promote relaxation. Hypnobirthing is quite popular in Japan but as far as I know Evans is the only person teaching it in English.

Birth Education Services in Tokyo (BEST) offers pregnancy and birth preparation classes. Taught by registered nurse Ann Tanaka, the classes are held at the Tokyo American Club but are open to non-members.

Publications:

From Pregnancy to Childcare: How to Prepare for Childcare in Japan is available as a booklet and video in English, Japanese and several other languages.

Japan Health Handbook is a very useful resource for foreign residents of Japan, and has a good section on pregnancy and childbirth.

Being a Broad in Japan is now a bit outdated, but still has lots of good information. Perhaps one reason the book hasn't been revised is that Being a Broad now publishes a magazine, which frequently features articles about pregnancy and childbirth.

Japan for Kids, another book due for an update, has a section on pregnancy and birth.

Tokyo Families Magazine is a free magazine with occasional pregnancy/birth related content.

Weekender is Tokyo's oldest free magazine and frequently has useful information for parents and parents-to-be.

Online Groups and Resources:

Married In Japan (MIJ) is a members-only Yahoo Group for foreign women married to Japanese men (it's also open to women considering marriage to, living with, or divorced from a Japanese man). The discussions are not restricted to pregnancy and childbirth but the topics do come up often. I have received a lot of support and advice from this group over the years and highly recommend MIJ to any non-Japanese woman with a Japanese husband, expecting or not.

Foreign Wives Club, another members-only group, is open to women all over the world who are in bicultural marriages. It has an active message board with many Japan-based members, with pregnancy and child-rearing being a common topic.

Being a Broad has a message board open to all but of interest mainly to foreign women in Japan.

Japan With Kids is unfortunately no longer active but still contains a plethora of information, including lots about pregnancy and birth in the form of articles, links, and an extensive message board.

Child Research Net has information on raising and educating children, mostly translated from its Japanese website. Not much related to pregnancy and childbirth, but the site may come in handy once the baby arrives.

AMDA International Medical Information Centre has a number of useful resources, including printable multilingual medical questionnaires to bring to a clinic or hospital, especially useful for those who can't read and write Japanese and thus are unable to complete their clinic's own questionnaire. AMDA also publishes the "From Pregnancy to Childcare: How to Prepare for Childcare in Japan" booklets and videos mentioned above.

Real Life Groups and Resources:

Association of Foreign Wives of Japanese (AFWJ) has been bringing foreign wives of Japanese men together since 1969. Unlike MIJ, AFWJ requires a paid membership. Members can find others in their area, attend real life meetings and get-togethers, and read the journal published six times per year. Regional chapters also publish newsletters and there are various online groups as well. Paying dues may only be worth it if you actually want to attend gatherings and meet other women, but I am a member and do recommend it.

Tokyo Pregnancy Group brings expecting mothers together for twice-monthly meetings, each of which feature a speaker on a pregnancy, birth or baby related subject. There is also a mailing list which mostly consists of former members giving away or selling their used pregnancy and baby items- very useful for budget-conscious moms-to-be. Many members graduate on to the Tokyo Mothers Group.

La Leche League Japan is an international organization offering support and information to help mothers breastfeed. There are five English-language regional groups in Japan (and many more in Japanese) that meet up regularly and you don't have to already be a breastfeeding mother to join a group or attend meetings: expecting mothers can learn a lot, talk to other moms, and meet lactation consultants who may eventually be called upon to help once the baby arrives (many Japanese hospitals and birth clinics are not nearly as pro-breastfeeding as they claim to be). I've already attended one meeting and have learned a lot, and really feel relieved to know who I can turn to if I need help in the future.

Tokyo English Life Line offers a range of information and services, including a free and confidential telephone counseling service.

Here are a few other groups that are not specifically for expecting or new parents but may be useful, especially if you don't qualify for any of the groups above: Tokyo American Club Women's Group, United for a Multicultural Japan, Field of Mugi, and FEW Japan.

Newspaper and Magazine Articles:

Tokyo International Communication Committee's Pregnancy and Childbirth article outlines the paperwork (and there's a lot of it) involved with having a baby in Japan. 

Care The World has basic information on childbirth in Japan as well as instructions on buying its PDF book "All you need to know about birth in Japan".

Alien Times published the very useful article Pregnancy and Giving Birth in Japan. The focus is on the paperwork and much of the information is specific to Tsukuba residents, but it's worth a read no matter where you live.

Metropolis magazine has published a few useful articles: Local Experts Help Foreign Women Take the Pain out of Labor, Giving Birth in Japan and Birthing's Not For Babies. The latter article was of interest to me as the author had her baby at Mejiro Birth House, the birthing clinic I have chosen (and I agree completely with her assessment of the midwives there, both good and bad).

And speaking of my clinic, its founding midwife is quoted in the Japan Times article Midwifery Practice Seen Finding New Favor. Her comments, especially about eposiotomies, are what originally led me to check out the clinic.

Also from The Japan Times is Don't be Afraid to Ask Questions About Giving Birth in Japan, and Groping Pregnant Women Shouldn't be what it's About.

Weekender has a number of articles, including Birthing in Japan, Choosing a Caregiver Part One and Two, and Support for Breastfeeding.

 

Blog and Website Articles:

Babycafe Japan, although not recently updated, has lots of information on pregnancy and child-rearing.

Stippy.com's Getting Pregnant in Japan series is written from the point of view of a foreign man married to a Japanese woman. I get the feeling that he had lots more to say but his four-post series is quite useful and interesting: Part One: Becoming a Gaijin Daddy in Your Home Away from Home, Part Two: Which Baby Books to Buy, and in Which Language?, Part Three: Handy Internet Bookmarks, Part Four: Do Japanese Mums Need Less Calcium?. He has also started a series on the blog about being a foreign dad in Japan.

Spinshell TV has two really useful videos: Expecting in Tokyo Part One and Two.

Japan Window writes a personal account of Giving Birth, Having a Baby in Japan.

Frugal Japan's article Pregnancy & Childbirth has lots of tips for saving money

10 Tips for Dealing With Pregnancy in Rural Japan is actually relevant no matter where you live.

Yen for Living's Why Doesn't National Health Insurance Pay for Maternity Care? discusses the high cost of giving birth in Japan.

Japan Visitor has an article on Giving Birth in Japan as well as The ABC's of Childbirth in Japan, an alphabetized list of Japanese birthing vocabulary.

 

There is likely much more information available out there, so please let me know if I've missed something.

Suitengu

On the to-do list of most pregnant women in Japan is a visit to a shrine, to pray for a safe and easy delivery and pick up an iwata-obi (a stomach wrap to protect the baby). This is best done on certain dates and at certain shrines, and although I got the day wrong I did get the place right.

The proper date would have been the first inu no hi (dog day) of my fifth month of pregnancy, which is not quite as easy to determine as it would seem. First of all, pregnancy is counted differently here, and Japanese women are said to be pregnant for ten months. This is not quite as wacky as it sounds as the months are lunar months lasting exactly four weeks long, and ten lunar months is exactly forty weeks. Which is indeed how long a pregnancy lasts, no matter which way you count. But it can get a bit confusing as I am keeping track of my pregnancy both the Canadian way and the Japanese way and I always get them mixed up and have trouble answering people who ask me how far along I am (luckily health professionals here count pregnancies in weeks, just like they do everywhere else).

The other thing is that nobody around me knows when exactly these dog days are. My husband, who can always be relied on to know absolutely nothing about traditional Japanese culture, certainly doesn't know. Nor do his parents, who are not at all traditional (a blessing really), or my friends or students, who all know what inu no hi is but have no idea when it falls. The problem is that inu no hi doesn't fall on a fixed date but every twelve days, based on the old Chinese calendar, and the days are seldom mentioned on calendars. After a bit of web sleuthing it turns out that my date would have been April 6th, which had long passed by the time I figured it out.

A final problem is that the place to go for inu no hi in Tokyo is Suitengu, a shrine in Ningyocho, just down the street from where Hideaki works, and he doesn't relish the idea of hanging around his office neighborhood on the weekend. But last week we finally got around to it.

I'd never been to Suitengu before, and if Hideaki hadn't been there I might have missed it. It's actually a very small shrine and is completely dwarfed by buildings crowded around it.

The visit was also a bit anticlimactic as all we did was the typical shrine stuff: ritualized washing followed by tossing a few coins, ringing the bell and praying. There are special ceremonies you can apply for, which involve paying a shinto priest in a comical hat lots of money to shake a paper-festooned wand at you, and you can also buy special amulets and charms to protect the baby and ensure a safe birth. We passed on that though, because, well, it's all very silly.

We could also have bought the traditional iwata-obi, but with a Japanese summer upon us I have no wish to have my stomach wrapped in layers and layers of constricting fabric. Actually, few women wear the traditional wrap-style iwata-obi these days, but most still do wear some kind of wrap or belt, believing that it will protect the baby from getting cold as well as from bumps and falls. These modern wraps are not so different from the pregnancy belts that some western women wear, but unlike in the west the reasons for wearing them are more for protection to the baby than for back support. I do have a belt that my mother-in-law bought for me and will wear it if my back starts to hurt, but I believe that a woman's natural defenses of skin, fat, uterus and amniotic fluid do a fine job of protecting the baby. So no iwata-obi for me.

Dog days are associated with pregnancy because dogs are thought to enjoy an especially easy labour (the lucky bitches). So the shrine features a little statue of a mother dog and her puppy surrounded by the twelve Chinese zodiac signs. Apparently you are supposed to find your sign and rub it, then rub the head of the dog and her pup to bring good luck to mother and child. We weren't sure if we were supposed to be rubbing our own zodiac signs or the baby's, so just in case we did all three (rooster for Hideaki, ox for me and tiger for the babe). It was the first time we'd thought about what our baby's zodiac will be, and Hideaki took it as a very auspicious sign that our spawn will be born in the year of the tiger, because like all good Osakans Hideaki is a devoted fan of the Hanshin Tigers baseball team.

Suitengu is also visited after a baby is born, and since this wasn't a dog day we saw far more families with newborns than pregnant ladies, and there were plenty of shops set up both inside and outside the shrine selling candy, toys and baby clothing. I'm sure there are a whole host of special baby praying days that I'll find out about months after the fact, and hope our kid doesn't grow up feeling deprived.

After we left Suitengu we walked around the neighborhood, and it was neat to see where Hideaki works. Ningyocho is an old area and has lots of little traditional shops, like stores selling nothing but hand crafted folding fans or scissors or sweets. Lots and lots of Japanese style sweets. Unfortunately the shops are all the kind of tiny place that once you step inside you feel obliged to buy something and since everything is hand-made it all costs a fortune, so we mostly just looked in from the outside.

The one place we did go into was a small restaurant called Tree's which specializes in something called soup curry, a variation of Japanese curry rice. Unlike regular Japanese curry, which is thickened to a glue-like consistency, soup curry is left liquidy and soup-like, and is thus much lighter. Hideaki has been eating at Tree's since he started at this job in January and raves about it enough that, although it didn't sound particularly appealing, I had to try it.

I had the tomato bacon curry, and it came in a bowl with a separate plate of rice (unlike regular curry rice in which the curry is served together with the rice). It was indeed soupy, much like a Thai style curry, but the flavour was closer to a Japanese curry. It is meant to be spooned over the rice little by little (or you can just dump the whole bowl of curry onto your rice like Hideaki did above) with pickled rakyo (shallot) and fukujinzuke (mixed sweet pickles) added as desired. It was very tasty and without being thickened by a roux it was quite light and I didn't feel nearly as full and greasy as I do after eating regular curry rice, which was nice.

Of course my midwives have warned me against eating spicy food as hot flavours are harmful to the baby (I wonder what they think women eat in Thailand or India?), so this was an illicit meal. May they never discover this blog!

Suitengu Shrine
2-4-1 Nihonbashi-kakigaracho, Chuo-ku, Tokyo
03-3666-7195
Open daily 8:00 am to 7:00 pm

Tree's
3-6-8 Nihonbashi-ningyocho, Chuo-ku, Tokyo
03-3639-2525
Open Monday to Friday for lunch 11:00 am to 2:30 pm and dinner 5:00 pm to 10:00 pm; Saturday for lunch 11:00 am to 3:00 pm

Ogasawara Day Five and Six

This is the fifth post in a series about a trip last year to the Ogasawara Islands. The introduction is here, and click here for the previous post.

On my second morning on Hahajima, the smaller of Ogasawara's two main islands, I woke up early to the sound of rain. Unable to get back to sleep, I grabbed one of the hotel's loaner umbrellas and headed out for a morning walk, enjoying deserted streets and greenery made lush by the downpour.

As on Chichijima, many of the houses were of a cute and vaguely western style, with no two looking the same- very much unlike homes on the mainland.

They also tended to have impressive gardens, overflowing with tropical flowers and fruit-bearing trees.

Above is a papaya tree, with a single ripe papaya ready to drop.

I passed more critters than people, probably because the islanders are too sensible to go out in the rain. Above is an aosagi (grey heron), also commonly seen in mainland Japan.

There were cats all over the place, which is apparently a big problem on the island. An out of control feral cat population is a huge threat to Hahajima's native Hahajima meguro (bonin white-eye) and other birds.

Lots of snails were out loving the weather, including this Africa maimai (East African land snail), an invasive species in Ogasawara and many other parts of the world. This was the first time I'd seen a live one though, as the empty shells are favourites of the local oka yadokari (land hermit crabs).

The rain stopped while I was out and I came back just in time to see a rainbow.

Breakfast was at Austro, a restaurant (one of just a few on the island) attached to our hotel, Nanpu.

It was a classic Japanese style hotel breakfast. Clockwise from top left: natto (fermented soybeans); saba no nitsuke (salmon poached in sake and soy sauce); salad; miso soup with abura-age (fried tofu); rice; nori seaweed sheets, umeboshi (salted plum) and tsukudani (seaweed braised in soy sauce) to eat with the rice.

We were then brought to the ferry terminal to begin a walking tour of Oki, the little village we were in (and the only village on the island). We started with the whale sculpture next to the terminal, above, then walked past .

We stopped by the island's only school, which accepts elementary and junior high school students (high school students have to go to Chichijima for their schooling), one of the fanciest schools I've seen. It featured an inner courtyard with actual grass (a rarity in Japan, where school yards are usually lined with dirt, sand or concrete) and decorated with the island's native Rolfs stone, above.

We had a brief stop at the Rolfs Museum (Ross Kinenkan, also translated as Ross Museum or Rohsu Memorial Hall), housed in a small building built of Rolfs stone in 1913.

The building was originally used to store sugar, and outside the museum is equipment leftover from sugar and rum making, like the sugarcane rollers above.

Everything was just laying out, exposed to the elements (and critters) with little explanation and no information in English, which I found a bit sad given Ogasawara's English language history. The one bit of English was in the form of a rubbing, below, from a plaque commemorating the annexation of Ogasawara by Commodore Perry, who was on his way to the mainland to demand Japan open up to the west.

I would have liked to stay longer in the museum but we were taken back to the harbour to see the island's sea turtle operation.

In an effort to increase the endangered sea turtle population, eggs are harvested from the island's beaches and the hatchlings raised for a few years in tanks before being released into the ocean. Where they are eventually caught and eaten, as sea turtle is considered a delicacy here. It would seem that a better solution to saving the turtles would be to not eat them, it is argued that the consumption of the turtles is a strong part of the island's cultural heritage and should therefore be continued. This deep cultural heritage seems to be expressed chiefly by touristy restaurants serving turtles, in the form of sashimi, soups and stews, to visitors keen to try exotic local dishes.

Interestingly, no turtles were consumed during the two decades when Ogasawara was occupied by America, which is said to be the only reason why any turtles remain in the waters surrounding the islands. Although before the war thousands of turtles were caught each year, since the return of Ogasawara to Japan in 1968 the catch has been severely restricted. Today only one man is allowed to catch the turtles and numbers are limited to 135 per year. The islanders claim to be serious about increasing the turtle numbers, and the population is indeed increasing slowly. If the hunt as strictly enforced as the islanders say it is, then it seems reasonable to catch a few turtles each year, but considering the number of restaurants and inns on both Hahajima and Chichijima that serve the turtles, plus whatever is consumed in private, it seems a little hard to believe that only 135 are being taken each year. I never did get a chance to try turtle as our meals were all planned for us, so I have no idea if sea turtles taste so great that it's worth continuing the hunt.

And then it was time to board the ferry back to Chichijima. A small group of islanders came out to wave the boat off, and I assumed they were bidding farewell to friends and family leaving for Chichijima or the mainland. I wouldn't find out until later that day what they were really there for.

A few of us had expressed disappointment at not getting to try local cuisine, especially shimazushi, the unique sushi eaten on Ogasawara. The lady who ran one of the inns we were staying at, La Mere, was kind enough to make some and box it up for us to eat on the ferry.

Shimazushi, literally "island sushi", is originally from Hachijojima, the southernmost of the Izu Islands (about 700 km north of Ogasawara). Many of Ogasawara's Japanese settlers came from Hachijojima, bringing this dish with them. Shimazushi differs from regular sushi in that the fish is first marinated in a sweet soy sauce, and the rice is dabbed not with wasabi but with mustard. On Hachijojima several types of fish are used but the Ogasawara version uses most sawara (spanish mackerel).

I was still quite full from breakfast but managed to down a few pieces, and enjoyed them more than I thought I would (I'm not a big fan of Japanese mustard so was expecting not to like shimazushi). It was definitely on the sweet side but after a few bites the fish, sugar, soy sauce and mustard flavours all balanced each other out.

In fact I ended up feeling rather stuffed, which I soon regretted as the sea was rough and I'd taken my anti-motion sickness pills a bit too late. Yup, I got seasick, for the first time on the trip, and spent most of the journey in the bathroom clinging to the special vomit sink (a low, wide sink that is a far nicer place than a toilet bowl to be sick in).

Once on Chichijima we were brought to a restaurant called Bonina for lunch. I probably would have enjoyed the food if I wasn't still sick, but I only managed a few bites. We were served poki-don, a Hawaiin style donburi (rice bowl) topped with sashimi, a few kinds of seaweed, and negi (long onion), flavoured with soy sauce and sesame oil and topped with a raw uzura tamago (quail's egg). Unfortunately even had I been well this would have been a miserable meal, as the waitresses were rude and the TV next to our table was on at full volume, making any conversation impossible. A very sad last meal on Ogasawara.

After lunch we were brought to the ferry terminal where we said our farewells to the local guides and government folks who had been taking care of us. The Tokyo government people gave us some souvenirs and the ferry people gave everyone freshly made leis and red hibiscus flowers, seen above.

After we boarded our ferry, the Ogasawara Maru, everyone rushed to the decks so we did the same, and saw what seemed to be half of the island's population out to wave us off. Apparently they were there for us tourists, and there would have been more of them if it hadn't been raining.

We were meant to throw our flowers and leis into the water as a prayer to return someday to the islands, which seems to be a custom borrowed from Hawaii. I was a bit distracted and ended up missing my chance, so I still have my lei.

Some of the islanders stayed with the ferry as long as they could, following us along the dock by running or driving. This went on for about twenty minutes, and when we saw the last of them I was ready to head to my room and escape the rain.

And then a small boat pulled up alongside us, its occupants waving madly.

And then there was another.

And another.

Finally there were four boats, all full of people waving at us.

The islanders followed us right out of the harbour, and when the ferry finally started to outrun them they jumped out of their boats and waved to us from the sea.

 

What a send-off! Apparently this happens every time the ferry leaves Chichijima (and Hahajima too, as we saw earlier in the day) and in good weather and peak season the farewell can get even crazier than what we saw.

When we had finally lost sight of the boats everyone went inside, as the weather was getting bad. I noticed this printout that tracked the progress of a typhoon headed our way. It was a few days old but we were told that it was continuing on its predicted path and the sea would soon be getting choppy. Thankfully I had taken my meds on time, and had enough to last me the rest of the journey back to Tokyo.

My earlier seasickness had worn off and my appetite returned, but knowing we were in for rough seas I ate a light dinner: just a bowl of motsu-ni (miso-stewed daikon and pork intestine) and a beer. I was soon glad for my restraint as the ferry started to rock badly, and only got worse as the night wore on. We had to give up our plans to stay up late celebrating the end of our trip and instead we all headed to bed, unable to sleep from the rocking and trying hard not to tumble out of our bunks. My pills worked and I didn't quite get seasick, but it was a very unpleasant night.

The next morning the sea had calmed down and a new chart was up, and it didn't seem like the typhoon had come close to us at all. If such a far away storm could cause such rough seas as the night before, then I'd hate to experience truly bad weather at sea.

After breakfast we joined a tour of the ferry, starting far below in a room full of computers and fancy equipment. I couldn't understand a thing, but it was neat to see all the machinery that keeps the boat going.

We moved on to the boiler room, which was so hot and noisy we could only stand it for a minute.

Then we were taken to the helm, where along with the sophisticated machinery there was one rather low tech piece of equipment: a shrine, where the captain and crew pray before each journey.

Lunch was at the ferry's overpriced but decent restaurant. I had a pork chop sauteed with mushrooms, miso soup and rice, my first full meal since the morning before and the final meal of the trip.

Soon after lunch we were in Tokyo Bay and while the cloudy weather prevented any good views, we did catch a glimpse of the Tokyo Bay Aqua Line, the bridge and tunnel that connects Kanagawa and Chiba prefectures, as it disappeared from the surface and tunneled under the Bay.

And a few hours later we were in Tokyo. The president of Mile Post, the consulting company that had arranged the trip, was there to thank us, and after saying good-bye to everyone I headed home, sad that the trip was over but really looking forward to seeing my husband and sleeping in my own bed.

Here are some of the souvenirs I'd come home with: seashells, a jar of passion fruit curd; chili flavoured soy sauce made with island-grown chilies; locally made sea salt, papaya, passion fruit, island lemon and guava jam; a few fresh passion fruits; a star fruit; and wing beans, all specialties of the island. The soy sauce, salt and beans were a gift from the Tokyo government and the rest I'd bought- or collected- myself. The passion fruit and passion fruit curd were especially good and I wished I'd bought more, especially as I've since seen the curd (there is also lemon curd made from the local island lemon, which I also bought and was delicious) on sale at Dean and Deluca for about 1400 yen, more than double what I paid on the island). Sadly all the edibles were soon gone, but I'll always have the seashells to remind me of a wonderful trip.

See more pictures from my last day on Hahajima here, and pictures from the ferry here. The complete Oagasawara photo album is here.